Page 38 of Myself

“I cried after we did it.” Not for the reasons she’s thinking. I was regretful but not ‘cause of Conner. Jaycent had a life, a future, and I didn’t wanna take that away from him. “Conner never found out, but I tried to make it up to him.” I lie again. If she knew that Conner had known, then she would understand why he was the way he was to me. It’s better off that she doesn’t know he knew. She’s better off just thinking he’s an ass, not that he was making me pay for what I did with Jaycent.

She takes my hands. “Becca, you’re my best friend. And I want you to listen very carefully.”

I nod slowly not sure what she is about to say. I hate that she may judge me. That she will see me as a different person. “You do not owe Conner shit!” she snaps, surprising me. “That guy treated you like shit! I do not condone cheating, but what you did to Conner wasn’t cheating.” She gives me a soft smile. “So then what happened?”

“After we were done, he told me that he wanted to be with me. That he knew it could work.” I shake my head. “It wouldn’t have worked. I was eighteen and about to leave for college. He was twenty-five and my brother’s best friend. It was never going to work.”

“And now?” she asks.

I smile. “And now, I feel like we have a chance.”

She smiles back and jumps up on the counter beside me, taking the jar of pickles from me. “I think you do too.”

“But Ryder ...”

“Honestly, Becca”—she takes a bite of her pickle—“he has no clue what’s going on,” she says, chewing.

My cell ringing has me jumping down off the countertop. I look and see it’s Jaycent and start to walk to my room. “Hello?”

“Hey, babe. Still wanna see me tonight?”

I smile. “Why? Have you changed your mind already?”

“Absolutely not!” he answers, and my smile grows.

“Then yes. I will be seeing you tonight.”

“Good. Meet me at my house in an hour. If you beat me there, there’s a hide-a-key under the white rock on the front porch,” he informs me.

“I remember where it is,” I tell him.

“Perfect.” I can hear the smile in his voice. “I have a surprise for you.”

I bite my lower lip and smile. “Do I need a bag ...?” I ask nervously but needing to know.

“Might as well pack a suitcase. Because that overnight bag you brought over last time doesn’t fit much in it. Even though I prefer you naked more than anything else.”

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JAYCENT

I pull up to my house and hit the garage door opener. It’s dark outside. Later than I meant to get off. But I had a meeting run late and then I got stuck in the usual Manhattan traffic.

The outside lights make the house glow. It’s a white stucco home with black shutters and black trim with two black garage doors to accommodate my four-car garage. I bought it for my twenty-first birthday. I was still away attending college when I bought it, but I wanted to have a house to come home to when I graduated. Once I finished my bachelors in architecture, I moved in and never thought twice about my decision.

I pull my car into the garage and close the door behind me before walking into my house. Entering the laundry room, I can already hear the TV on in the living room. I walk in to find Becca sitting on my couch, her legs tucked under her butt with her hands in her lap. I smile as I watch her. This is what I want to come home to every day. Her in our house, wearing my t-shirts and a smile on her face. This is my dream. I hope it’s hers too.

“Hey,” I say.

Her head spins around, and her face lights up as she sees me. “Hey, baby.” She stands from the couch, and my eyes trail down her exposed legs that her white sundress shows off.

I meet her halfway not wanting to wait for her to reach me. I wrap my arms around her and lift her off the ground. “Do we have plans tonight?” she asks.

I nod. “We do.” I place her back on her feet. I have dinner reservations at her favorite restaurant. But it’s a surprise. “But ...” I take her hand and head toward my bedroom. “Afterward.”

“How long do we have?” she asks, already getting out of her sundress. She kicks her heels off and crawls onto the bed; her panties are still on, but she wasn’t wearing a bra. I smile at that.

I start undoing the buttons on my dress shirt. Then I’m reaching for my slacks along with my boxers. “About an hour,” I answer, crawling onto the bed after her, now naked.

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