Page 10 of Myself

I let go of him, and he continues to cough as I turn and walk back inside. I refuse to leave her alone with Conner while she’s upset. I’ll stay back in the shadows because I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I’d never forgive myself if I left and something happened to her.

CHAPTER TWO

BECCA

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We finish breakfast and make our way back up to our room while the guys go to theirs. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my still shaky nerves.

As soon as we walk through our door, Ashlyn heads to her room. “I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up in an hour.”

“Okay,” I say although I don’t want her to go to sleep. I don’t wanna be left alone with Conner. He’s pissed. As soon as her door closes, he turns to face me.

“What the fuck, Becca?” he demands.

“What Conner?” I say with a sigh, starting to feel tired myself.

“First, your brother, and now, Jaycent,” he growls. “You know I hate that guy.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know either one were coming.” Why did I just apologize to him?

He snorts. “I highly doubt that. I’m sure you just didn’t wanna tell me.”

“Why would I do that?” I ask, trying to understand what is happening. “If you don’t like it, then stay down here,” I say, raising my voice.

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” he snaps. “So you can go up there

and do whatever you want with Jaycent.” He takes a step toward me, but I’m not gonna let him intimidate me.

I swallow the lump in my throat but manage to lift my chin. “How would it be any different than what you did with that girl last night?”

He places his hands on my shoulders and shoves me backward; my back hits the wall hard. My eyes shoot to Ashlyn’s door, hoping I don’t wake her. Jaycent would be the last person he needs to worry about if she saw him right now. “I didn’t do anything with her,” he growls. “But you sure as hell did with Jaycent.”

I sit on my shower floor, crying, the water from the showerhead falling down on me feels like a thousand knives. I cheated on Conner again. But this time, it was more than just a kiss. I slept with Jaycent. “I’m sorry,” I say as I bring my legs to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

Conner says nothing. His silence making it worse as he stands outside the shower.

“I’m so sorry...” I sob. “I—”

“So was it as good as you hoped it was going to be?” He interrupts me.

I look up at him wide-eyed. “How can you ask that?”

“It was never a matter of if. It was a matter of when,” he snaps.

I sniff. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not fucking blind. I’ve seen the way you look at him. Every time you wanna go somewhere, he seems to show up. As if you knew he was gonna be there.” I shake my head quickly, but what he’s saying holds some truth. “But honestly, Becca, I never thought you could be such a whore,” he says with disgust.

My throat suddenly tightens. “It was a mistake,” I say, trying to hold back a sob.

He snorts. “Easy to say that now that you’ve already done it.”

“It’s not gonna happen again.” I had finally slept with Jaycent. After what happened at my birthday party had me thinking he would never even come around me again. This time, we went all the way. I love him now more than I did before I slept with him, but us being together would never work. We both have to go our separate ways for different reasons.

“I know it won’t happen again because he got you out of his system.” Even though I feel bad for what I did, that statement hurts. It makes Jaycent sound like he used me. Like it meant nothing when I know it did. I just chose to let him go because I knew it was the right thing to do given the circumstances. If I had known the truth beforehand, I would have never made a move.

He bends down by the shower and says, “I’ll forgive you, but I’m not gonna forget. We’re gonna go to Seattle, and you’re never gonna talk to Jaycent again, understood?”

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