Page 94 of Myself

“No, you weren’t. If you had done something, he would have been mad at all of us.”

I run a hand down my face and sigh, looking down at the floor myself. I know she’s right but ...

“Do you love her?” she asks.

I look up at her. “Do you love him?”

“I’m not sure I know what love is,” she says.

My shoulders slump, and I run a hand through my hair again. “You can’t compare what Becca and I have to what you and Ryder have,” I say honestly.

“We have nothing,” she says softly.

“That’s bullshit!” I growl.

She sits up straighter on the counter. “Jaycent—”

“I don’t wanna hear your excuses, Ashlyn,” I interrupt her. “I know what I saw. I may not know you, but I know my best friend. He’s been in my life since we were four. I’ve never seen him look at a woman like he does you. I’ve never seen him be so ... attentive to anyone as he is with you. Trust me; I’ll be the first one to admit that Ryder can be a fucking dick. But he also has a lot to give. And I know he was willing to give it to you.” I can’t help but tell her the truth. I’m hoping that this will give her what she needs in order to do whatever needs to be done to get them back together. ‘Cause it’s clear to me that she is gonna have to be the one who takes that step.

She shakes her head. “I don’t understand how I got here.”

I place my hand on her knee. “People never see love coming.”

She looks up at me. “No offense, but I don’t see you as a hopeless romantic.”

I laugh at that statement. “No one ever does.” And then I smile. “I thought I was in love with a woman for a long time. Becca,” I clarify when she frowns. “Then one day.” Two weeks ago. “She gave me the chance to show her just how much I’ve loved her. And I was wrong.” My smile widens. “I realized that I loved her from afar. Out of reach. When I was able to hold her. Touch her. Kiss her. What I felt for her didn’t even compare to what lengths my love for her will go.” Then my face goes serious. “I’ve known Becca all her life, Ashlyn. And I’ve loved her for a long time. But I was seven years older than she was. When I finally had my chance, she went off to college. Far away from me. But I believed in fate. And I’ve always been the guy who believes in love.”

Her head drops, and she stares down at her hands in her lap. “Love can’t happen in three weeks, Jaycent.”

“Says who?”

She looks back up at me with an “are you kidding me” look on her face. “Everyone.”

“Well, everyone is wrong,” I say simply, and she snorts. “Every day, Becca does something new, and I fall in love with it.” I smile. “You’re holding yourself back because you’re afraid of what? That he won’t love you the same?”

“I don’t love him,” she says.

“Just because you say it out loud doesn’t make it true.”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

BECCA

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“Where are we headed?” Ashlyn asks, sitting between me and Thomas in the back of Ryder’s escalade. I totally called Milton and asked him to drive us tonight. Jaycent offered to take us and pick us up, but I told him not to worry about it. He already did so much for me. I wanted him to enjoy his Saturday night too.

“Ryder and Dad sold some property last year to a man, and he opened a club on it.”

“Great,” she says dryly.

“Tonight is its grand opening,” I say excitedly, trying to get her to smile.

“Oh, I love grand openings.” Thomas claps his hands just as excited as I am. Sometime, while Jaycent and I were having sex, Thomas called Ashlyn and said he needed a night out as well. So he is joining us tonight.

Ashlyn rolls her eyes, and I smile at him. At least someone is happy about being out tonight.

Thirty minutes later, we pull up to a sizable black brick building on a corner lot. Bright white spotlights aimed up in the air sit out front, and my first thought is that they’re giving the Batman signal.

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