Page 49 of Myself

“Hello?” I say, pushing the laptop away and lying down.

“Hello, Becca,” she says excitedly. “How are things going in New York?”

I go to say great, but then I remember what happened last night. That my ex almost killed my best friend. “Is everything okay?” she asks, her voice now worried.

I sit up. “Yes,” I say quickly, not wanting her to worry. “Everything is great. How are you doing?” I ask, trying to avoid talking about me.

“Everything is ... quiet here.” She sighs heavily. “I sure miss you girls.”

I smile at those words. Ashlyn’s parents have been there more for me than mine ever were. “I spoke to Ashlyn this morning,” she says.

“How did that go?” I ask.

“Well, I was surprised,” she says slowly.

I frown. “Surprised about what?”

“She’s dating Julian.” I smile as she uses my brother’s first name. He’s always gone by Ryder for as long as I can remember. My parents named him after my uncle, but they had a big falling out after my grandfather died, and we haven’t spoken to them since. My mother still calls him Julian, though, but I think it’s just to piss my dad off.

“Yes, they are,” I tell her. “They’re happy.”

“And you? Are you happy? Did you and Conner make up?” she asks curiously.

“No. He’s long gone,” I tell her. I’ll never answer another call or text from him again. Never! I should have walked away from him years ago, but I didn’t. I wasn’t strong enough, but now, he doesn’t deserve anything after what he did to Ashlyn. He can burn in hell for all I care.

“And you’re okay with that?”

“I am,” I say, smiling. “I’m okay without him.” I bite my bottom lip. “I’m actually seeing someone.”

“Oh, honey that’s great,” she says excitedly. “I hope he’s treating you right.”

I nod to myself. “He is. He’s amazing.”

“I’m so glad both of my girls are happy.”

Her words make my chest tight and my heart swell. She treats me as if I’m her daughter. And although I love it, I just wish my mother would treat me like that. “Although I don’t think Ashlyn wanted me to know about her new relationship.”

I laugh because I know there’s no way Ashlyn willingly told her that. She had to have found out another way, so I ask. “How did you find out?”

“She sent a picture of the two of them in our family group chat, and I called her,” she states.

I laugh harder. That sounds more like it.

“I feel it’s a little more serious than she let on.” She adds.

“Most likely.”

She sighs. “I just wish I was there to take you girls to lunch today.” I hear her sniff, and my chest tightens. “I keep pretending you guys are still here in Seattle. Just really busy.”

“You know we’d never be too busy to see you guys,” I tell her honestly. We did something with them at least three times a week. We would have movie night, bowling night, and relaxing nights. It’s sad that those nights, lying around their house in my pjs, are my favorite memories of college.

“That’s what makes it so hard,” she says softly.

“We’ll come back soon,” I say, but in all honesty, I’m not sure when that will happen.

“Well, until then, I’ll just have to settle for talking to you both every day,” she says, and I smile.

We say our goodbyes and hang up. I lie back down on my bed and send Ashlyn a quick text.

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