Page 17 of Phoenix Fire

“Yes, he is hard to read. Yet, there have been times when he has been almost loving and caring. And the other times, he has been so transparent in his indifference. Unfortunately, the indifference is the dominant attitude. It is so sad, Myrena, but I know we are finished. I've been a convenience for Carlton, I'm afraid, but now it's time that I override all my hopeful negations to the contrary and recognize that we are truly over.”

“I'm so sorry, Sheila dear. I wish that there was some way to change my grandson. You are a dear woman and you are really so good for him. But it would be foolish of me not to acknowledge and understand what you are saying. Carlton is such an intelligent boy.” She paused. “I still think of my grandsons as boys. Carlton is very smart in his business but so immature at times in his private life. I love him, too, of course, but I know what you say is true. What can I do, Sheila?”

“Oh, there is nothing I ask of you, Myrena, but I feel close to you and wanted to share something with you that might be painful. I've vacillated on whether or not to tell you and I've procrastinated long enough. I'm hurt, Myrena, truly hurt, and it could sound vindictive what I tell you. Maybe I shouldn't even tell you, but, then, you should know. I'm just so confused.” Sheila seemed utterly befuddled.

“Please, dear, compose yourself, and go on. You need to tell me. Don't worry, I will not think your purpose in sharing is vindication.” Myrena's eyes were now keenly focused on Sheila.

Again, Sheila swallowed hard and sighed. “He's in some kind of trouble, Myrena, financial trouble, I'm sure … something to do with gambling. He is gambling and I'm afraid that he's losing some considerable sums of money.”

Myrena felt a sense of urgency. “How do you come by this information, Sheila? Is there a chance you can be mistaken?”

“Unfortunately, no. My best friend told me, and I believe her. Some time back, my friend's fiancé introduced Carlton to a man who is some sort of gambling guru, very likely a gangster. Anyway, Carlton began going to some very big private poker games. He had always liked gambling. We went to Las Vegas several times and it was nearly impossible to get him out of the casinos to see a show. He liked betting on the tables and even extended his bets to football and basketball games,” another long sigh, “and these private poker games have essentially all but ended our time together. He doesn't know it and he thinks he hides it well, but he is showing signs of depression.”

“My lord!” Myrena softly moaned. “Is he still going to these private poker games?”

“Yes, he is, as recently as last night. My friend called me this morning. Myrena, I should not tell you this but I'm going to. I even loaned him ten thousand dollars early on in the games. Now, that's a small sum to Carlton. I know he's a vice president and controller of a big company and he's compensated well. And, pardon me, but I also know that he comes from a wealthy family.”

“Yes, we've done well financially in our lives. No need to apologize. Did you get your money back?”

“No, and I don't really expect to get it back. I've done well, too, Myrena, and the money is not the important issue here. The ten thousand dollars had just come in on one of my investments. Carlton just happened to be there when it came in. He had just lost a hefty sum, and my ten grand check was just a quick fix. It represented, I'm sure, just a small fraction of what he's lost. But I'm not worried about the money. My finances are fine. It's Carlton I'm concerned about. Unfortunately, I still love him.”

“Well, you will have your money. I will see to that.”

“Myrena, please! You will hurt me even more if you try to give me money. I only told you about the ten thousand to emphasis the depth of the problem Carlton has. I could not and would not accept money from you. So, please, let that part of this whole ugly thing be forgotten. Carlton is our problem, not my money. I'm afraid that he has really dug a hole so big that he may not be able to get out. I'm talking very big money, Myrena.” Sheila saw the pain in Myrena's face. “Oh, God! I should not come here and lay all of this on you. It should not be your problem. Please forgive me!”

Myrena had some inkling of how big those losses were for Carlton, remembering the large sums she had passed on to him … for 'investments.'

“There is nothing to forgive, Sheila dear. Please, calm yourself. And, yes, I'm afraid I know you are talking very big money.”

At that moment Myrena felt a sharp pain deep within her lower body. She winced, contorted and fell deeper into her chair.

“Myrena, what's wrong?” Sheila rose and went to Myrena's side, putting her hand gently on her shoulder. “What can I do? You're in pain.”

“Just an old age pain, my dear. Would you call Wardley? He will know what to do.”

Sheila rushed to summon Wardley.

The pain did not subside so quickly. It simply rolled through her with varying degrees of intensity.

Soon, Wardley arrived with the needed medication, staying at Myrena's side until she made him go.

“Oh, Myrena, I've caused you stress and pain. Please forgive me. I'm such a simpleton ass to burden you with this business. You don't deserve it. I just needed to unload, and now I've hurt you in the process. I don't know what I expected you to do. It is not your problem.” Sheila twisted her hands together, tears slowly appearing and trickling down her cheeks.

“But he is my grandson. Now stop your fretting. You did the right thing in telling me.” The pain was easing. “The medicine is working. Don't worry about me. I'm a strong old girl. Just got an aging ailment, that's all. You get old, the old body starts breaking down a bit. I'm feeling better now.”

“What is it, Grandmother Wimsley?” Sheila’s voice was tender and genuine in its caring. It was the first time she had addressed Myrena in that way. Sheila’s face wore the knowledge that this was not just an 'aging ailment' for Myrena.

Myrena was touched and beckoned Sheila to her small but strong arms. They comforted each other for some long moments.

It was Myrena who spoke. “Child, I'm going to be sorry not seeing you with Carlton anymore. But you're not to worry. I'm going to work on the problem you've talked about. I want you to stay in touch with me. You are like family.”

Sheila soon left. Wardley came to the day room to assist Myrena, but she waved him away. He smiled with affection at her indomitable spirit. With the tray of uneaten finger sandwiches and lemonade in his hands, Wardley left her alone, a painful knot in his gut. She would not be with them too much longer. The trusted employee and friend felt a deep sadness with the thought and would wait until he was in his quarters before shedding the tears welling up inside of him.

Myrena went to the parlor and stood a long time in front of the portrait that she loved so much. Then she reclined on the long sofa, placing herself so that her view of the portrait was unimpaired. She was there staring at the portrait for a long time, her mind playing themes from the long ago past. She pulled the misty old memories from the deep rich tones on the portrait's canvas. The scenes passed swiftly and poignantly before her clouding eyes.

She and John standing at the doorway to the boys' bedroom, watching them sleep…

The daughter who bore the boys in her cap and gown at graduation exercises …

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