Page 67 of One More Time

Australians often used many insults as terms of endearment, but that one had a universal meaning. I rolled my eyes and sighed, coming back to the present. The smooth burn of the cheap whiskey warmed my body as I tipped my head back. Most guys had already found their hookup for the night and had begun to retreat to their bedrooms. Mouse stood opposite me on the bench, animatedly talking about… something. I hadn’t paid much attention to what but I knew that at least it wasn’t a mole. I blinked back the dizziness, trying to focus on what he was saying.

“Dude, she looked at me! She actually looked at me!” Mouse practically bounced on his toes.

Jarman hummed and sculled back another shot, pouring one for me. I followed his lead, but as I lowered my head again the room began to spin. Fuck.

“That’s good mate. Just ask her on a date,” I slurred. I hadn’t had that much to drink, had I?

I shook my head in an attempt to clear it, but that only made it worse.

“How? She’s so perfect, and I’m … well, me.” Mouse’s jovial tone went uncharacteristically flat.

“Just ask her what her perfect date is. Then ask her when she’s free and take her out to do exactly that. You’re a good-looking guy, she’ll say yes.“

He beamed., “Oh, em gee, Aussie. Yes! I’ll try that!”

He clapped me on the shoulder and ran off. I looked beside me to see Jarman’s gaze locked on him with a pained expression.

Well, fuck. I knew that look all too well.

“Jar…” I started.,

“It’s nothing, Aus. He’s my best friend, that’s all. I worry.” He took another shot, not giving me any confidence in what he just said. He then clapped me on the shoulder as well before saying he was going to head out.

I stood there on my own, looking around at everyone’s happy faces. There was something about being alone in a crowded room full of happy couples that made the world seem so small. There was only me, myself, and I. I had the depressing thought, and my heart protested the idea—the one that told me this was my future: surrounded by a team but no one to go home to at night.

That lonely thought had me picking up the rest of the whiskey bottle and heading out into the cold.

Chapter thirty-six

Hunter

Like something out of an angsty teenage movie, I watched the snow fall outside while I pretended to study the constitutional law book in front of me—that had been open to the same page for an hour. A lone figure stumbled out the front door and onto the snow-patched lawn, lifting a bottle to his lips. He looked to the sky, the small fire pit light catching the reddish hues of his hair. His breath misted out in front of him as he… laughed?

I noted the way the air mingled with his short exhales, the way his chest rose and fell as he shook his head like he was shaking off his thoughts. My body reacted before my mind, and I charged from my room and into the yard.

I opened the sliding door, and despite the increase in noise, he still didn’t notice me. I stood on the porch, watching him move around the fire, sipping whiskey like it was the answer to all his problems.

I’d seen Tyler cry before, held him as he broke down in my arms. But I’d never seen him like this. This was a different type of broken, and I didn’t like it one bit. His feet didn’t know left from right, and his face was void of all emotion.

I took a step closer.

“You know, I never used to be this pathetic,” he said, letting me know he was aware of my presence. I moved to take another step, but he pointed at me with the hand holding the whiskey.

“I’ve always been able to control this stupid feeling. Because I told myself, I could be alone. I was fine, being the guy everyone depended on. I always performed no matter what life threw at me. I prevailed. I proved that I didn’t need more than who I already had beside me. Right?”

My eyes began to burn as his pain-infused words hit the frosted air.

“Right?” he repeated, a little louder this time—loud enough to make me flinch.

“Ty….”

“That should be enough: my team, my brother, and hockey. That should be all I need, right?” His voice got louder as tears fell down his cheeks. Though he continued to rub at his temple with his free hand, as if every word hurt.

“But no, one fucking night with you turned into another and another, then poof! “His hands flew out to his sides, whiskey sloshing out of the bottle and splattering onto the fire, sending the flames high. I stepped forward, needing to get that bottle from his hands, but he brought it back to his mouth and turned his back to me.

“Poof, I’ve lost my mind. Do you know why, Hunter?” He looked over his shoulder.

“Why, baby?” My voice was barely a whisper.

---