Page 39 of One More Time

With nowhere to go, I paced in a circle around the room. “What? No? I have been trying to call him to clear the air.”

I could hear her heavy breathing. “Okay, don’t worry, he might just be… I’ll find him, get some rest. Good luck on your game tomorrow.”

“You think I’m going to rest without knowing he’s okay? I’ll call around, see if anyone can help find him.”

There was a pause while she mulled over my offer. With a sigh, she relented.

“Thank you. I’m sorry. If I could drive, I would be out looking for him.”

I frowned. “If you could drive?”

She let out a breath, one she’d been holding for way too long.

“I told Jamie not to tell you. I got in a bingle the other day. No one was hurt, minimal damage. I blacked out just for a moment. They took my license off me because the chemo is making me unfit to drive. I can try and get it back, but the doctors want me to finish this treatment and see how I recover.”

My knees buckled, I dropped back onto the bed. My hand fisted my hair. Why am I even here? I needed to be home.

It was my turn to sigh. “I’ll call the guys and get them to help. But no more secrets. There’s no point in breaking up this family even more.”

“Thanks, Ty. I am sorry, so sorry. I’m failing you both.” I didn’t need to see her to know she was crying.

“You’re not. We’re lucky to have you. I’ll find him. Love you.”

I disconnected the call and dialed Holden immediately.

“Mate, isn’t it like two a.m.?”

“Have you seen Jamie?”

The line went silent.

“Not since yesterday. I took him to his training and dropped him home. Why?”

I explained everything and Holden spit out a curse. “Fuck, okay bro. I’m getting in my car now. He didn’t mean all that, you know. He loves you. All he talks about is how much he misses you. He just wants you to let him in on your life, not you just worry about his.”

“It’s hard, okay? He hasn’t been himself since we lost Dad, and now we are losing Mum, and I just felt like I need to protect him. I can’t lose him too, Holden, I see that look in his eyes, and I worry that one day he might…”

“He wouldn’t,” came Holden’s gruff voice. “I would never let him do that.”

Despite everything, my lips tugged into a grin. It meant the world knowing someone like Holden was looking out for him.

“I’ll find him, Ty, don’t you worry. We are not losing him.”

The last bit sounded more for him than me. The call ended and I simply sat on my bed looking at my screen. I wasn’t a praying man, but I couldn’t help sending a silent call to anyone who would listen that my little brother was okay.

The mirror reflected my exhaustion. Dark circles seemed insignificant compared to the fog that surrounded me. It had been three hours and there had been no sign of my brother. I needed to be at the rink in an hour and a half. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in place, waiting for the call, while also hoping it didn’t come. My mind swirled with all the possible outcomes—most of them not good.

I left the bathroom and shuffled to the kitchen. If I was going to be dumb enough to play this game, I needed some fuel in my system.

“Any news?” Cal tentatively asked as I entered the kitchen.

I shook my head and mindlessly prepared the breakfast I may not be able to eat.

I stood at the bench, pushing my egg white omelette around the plate.

“Ty, you need to get going, I can be on call for your family if you would like?”

“I am not going until I get a call.”

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