Page 24 of One More Time

The reality check was harsh; my conscience was slapping me hard. Hunter, in all his perceptive glory, peeled away the layers to reveal me for who I truly was. It all started with my desperate need for control, stemming from the very moment I found myself unable to say no. From there, it infiltrated every corner of my life: waiting anxiously for my dad’s return that would never come, facing the unpredictable nature of watching someone fight cancer…

Life’s unpredictability hit me hard. It forced me to play pretend, to convince myself I was in the driver’s seat. But the truth was, I was gripping the wheel of a hydroplaning car, hurtling forward with no seatbelt and no brakes. Hunter’s discerning gaze intensified my internal conflict, making me itch to reach out to him. Yet just as that impulse surfaced, another voice disrupted the moment, invading the gym and pulling me away from the emotional precipice.

“You two better not be fighting again. Are we going to have a problem?” Colton bellowed as he approached us, a towel slung over his broad shoulders.

“No problem,” Hunter and I responded at the same time. But I could see it in his eyes. We very much had a problem—a big fucking problem. I hit my mark, and he worked his jaw like he was eating his final meal.

“Aussie here has made it clear where we stand, and I am glad to know. Don’t you worry Colt, we agreed to be good hard-working teammates on the ice, isn’t that right…Tyler.” He stood confident, shoulders back as he commanded the boardroom. His smile was almost foolproof. It might have convinced others, but it didn’t escape me. Hunter Graves was harboring pain and anger—a lot of it. And I knew I was the cause of at least some. I’d never spoken to someone that way. The echoes of my mother’s disapproving voice resonated in my mind – “I’m so disappointed in you.” She was right: that wasn’t how she raised me.

She taught us early the value of addressing hurtful behavior Yet, in the presence of my broody Bostoner, all rational thought seemed to fly out the window. I nodded numbly, my remorse sinking in as I watched him turn his back and exit the gym.

“Sorry about him. He’s an arrogant ass. If he is going to be a problem, let me know we can talk to Coach.”

I nearly lost my footing on the treadmill, my eyes widening in disbelief. It was a shocking realization that our captain—someone I considered a friend—was willing to throw Hunter aside so quickly. In my eyes, Hunter was so much more than just a troublemaker; he was an asset to our team, a key player who knew how to navigate the complexities of the game. It pained me to see our captain so swift in betraying a friend. The camaraderie that bound us on the ice now teetered on the brink of destruction, and the ache in my chest mirrored the internal conflict I felt. I was torn between loyalty to a teammate and the disheartening reality of impending betrayal.

“Hunter is on the track to go pro too. I wouldn’t discount him so quickly.” I was defending him. Maybe it was guilt. Or the way he treated me when I was so vulnerable. Or simply because he was my teammate, but what Colton said wasn’t sitting right with me.

No one speaks shit about Hunter. The thought was rich coming from me, but it played in my head as I clenched my fist.

Colton scoffed. “Sure he’s a good player, but he fucks up everything he touches. Just you wait and see. Know that I have your back, okay? Don’t get stuck in his orbit, all he does is bring down those around him.”

I blinked at my Captain, feeling like I just got checked into a whole new game. It was like flipping between two periods: one where he’s the chirping, supportive leader, and the next he’s throwing me hit to the boards that’s spinning my world faster than a slapshot.

“You have no reason to worry about that. But I will say, you need to cut him some slack. He’s good on this ice and good on this team. Maybe it’s you, Cap, who needs to let it lie and put some faith in your teammates. Because I know whatever shit is said off the ice is just that: shit.”

I walked off, not bothering to look back at his expression. I didn’t need to—his thoughts were radiating off him. I was starting to think I wasn’t the one with the issue with Hunter. I just wondered if Hunter had anyone truly watching his back.

Chapter thirteen

Hunter

“But the game always ends. The high wears off and you realize you’re all alone. You wouldn’t know chivalry if it bit you in the ass.”

Tyler’s words played themselves in a loop—a loop of hell… but one of truth. And it fucking hurt. It was the same kind of pain that hit me when I woke up without him next to me. I was all alone. Sure, I had Kins and if she called for help I would take off running. I didn’t call anyone for help. No one needed to be caught in my storm. I’d rather protect those I care about and stay alone, wallowing in my own pool of self-pity when it all came crashing down around me.

I began stripping at my stall, ignoring the sound of the locker room door opening. I knew it was him without even looking—I could feel every time he entered a room—and I didn’t dare look his way. I wished I’d never bumped into him. I wish he’d stayed in Australia. The only thing he accomplished was bringing up everything I’d worked so hard to ignore. Colton was right: I self-sabotaged, I did in high school, and I was on a one-track path to doing it again.

I felt his body buzzing beside mine, noticeably angrier than when I left him. It made me wonder what Colt said after I’d left.

Don’t start caring. It doesn’t matter.

“Hunter…” Considering he was hurling verbal bullets at me mere minutes ago, his voice was surprisingly gentle.

“Don’t bother, Tyler. You were right. Let’s just focus on being teammates.” My voice lacked any hint of emotion.

“No, I need to apologize. I was an absolute cunt. I don’t know you—not the real you. You were good to me and… I freaked out. I knew that we’d never be more than teammates and that scared me. I… I never speak to people the way I spoke to you, and I hate that I did.”

I snickered, attempting to hold back my laughter. “Did you seriously just call yourself a cunt?” Maybe it was the tension in the air or him having the balls to apologize, but I couldn’t contain it.

“I’m sorry… I forgot Australians have potty mouths compared to you—but it’s the truth I snapped at you because you hit a nerve…”

I laughed, truly laughed for what felt like the first time. I was laughing at the guy in front of me, sweaty hair falling in his face as he called himself all the wrong names. And damn it if it didn’t make him even more perfect. What would it take for this man to show me just one flaw? “Okay, okay—apology accepted. You can stop insulting yourself.”

Tyler huffed. “Noted, while we’re warning each other—” The door busted open before he could finish and the team piled in, shouting about girls and the normal drunken stories that came with a Monday practice.

I wanted to beg Tyler to keep talking, but Colton gave us his telltale whistle that meant sit down and shut up. I zoned out as he gave his normal spiel about the weekend being over and how we needed to focus. We had the Yale boys on our turf this week, which meant we had to stay on our toes. They’d had a few bad seasons and were looking to make a comeback. We were number four on the board and we needed to be number one. If we won this game, it would set a precedent for the Harvard game—they were tailing us on the leaderboard. Like us, both teams had fresh meat on their roster. Yale had some forwards that would contend with Colton and Tyler, and I knew Colton needed to outshine them to be noticed, but it wouldn’t hurt for Tyler to get on their radar as well.

I didn’t have my doubts about these next few games, as long as we kept up as we had been. However, what did make me nervous was the upcoming game against Merrimack. Particularly the presence of their defenseman, Zane Matthews. Zane and I had a past, one that could potentially influence the outcome of the game. My attention zoned in on Colton momentarily as he mentioned Zane by name. His expression spoke volumes, and the warning in his eyes was crystal clear: “Do not mess this up for us again.” I nodded in understanding, sensing the weight of a particular Aussie player’s curiosity.

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