Page 84 of Forget Me Not

“What?”

“Nova. Who is Jack?”

So this is it, then? This is how I tell him what an utter failure I am. This is how both shoes drop at the same time and this is how this little tryst between us comes to an end.

With Jack.

“Jack is . . . was my husband.”

Reid doesn’t say anything. He looks back at the fire, his gaze unreadable. Is he disgusted with me? Does he think I’m a horrible person?

“He died. When we crashed into the Mississippi.”

“You didn’t tell me before.”

“I didn’t want to.”

His gaze darkens and he almost looks angry.

“Nova, I can’t replace him.”

Ouch.

“No,” I snap, my eyes burning with fresh tears I refuse to cry. “You can’t. And no one asked you to.”

“I can’t give you what you need, Nova.”

“I don’t need you to give me anything.” And then, just because I feel like it has to be said. “If you’re worried I’ll fall in love with you, I can handle myself, Reid. I’m not a child.”

“This has gone too far.”

Too far.

“Fine, then go.” I hate the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth. I also hate the cavity opening in my chest when I think about the days after he’s gone. He stands from the chair by the fire and I take a step back, needing to put some space between us.

Bitter resentment burns in my chest. For Reid. For Jack. For me, most of all, because I swore to myself I wouldn’t get attached. If I wasn’t, maybe it wouldn’t feel like my heart’s getting stomped into the dirt.

Stupid, stupid, girl.

“I don’t want to hurt you when I leave.”

His one-line sentences are pissing me off. Like he’s trying them on to see which one makes everything better. As if when he lands on the right one, it’ll erase the last two weeks and we can go back to our lives.

“You’re hurting me right now.”

Both of us fall silent, neither daring to break the silence that stretches further and further between us.

Maybe in another life, things could have been different. Maybe he wouldn’t be dead-set on following his dream out in Alaska and maybe I would be the kind of girl that could make him stay. Maybe we’d fall in love. Have babies.

Maybe he’s right. This has gone too far.

I shake my head, tears burning in my eyes, and I know I can’t stand here and let him see me cry. Tears are a weakness. I learned the hard way that people you care about the most can use them against you until you’re a beaten-down version of yourself. A husk of who you used to be. When someone can make you cry, they hold your heart in their hands.

“Have a good night, Reid.”

I turn for the house, but he catches my hand before I get even a step away, spinning me around to face him.

“Nova—” he grits, something flashing in those eyes. Something like panic.

---