Page 61 of Forget Me Not

“Katelyn, what are your thoughts on dating after someone you love passes?”

Her face falls and she looks at me for a moment. We don’t talk about this. We haven’t in years. Once it happened, I just kind of . . . hid it from the world.

She shakes her head, her auburn hair falling around her face. “I think you have been through a lot. More than you’re telling and I also think you deserve to feel wanted. You deserve to be treated however you want to be treated and you certainly don’t owe anyone a damn thing. No one owns you, Nova. Dead or alive.”

A stray asshole tear slides down my cheek and I hastily wipe it away.

“I know. I don’t like to talk about it.”

“Well,” Katelyn says, angrily painting the wall in front of her, as if it’s the cause for all my problems. “I think that after you lose someone, you have to move on. I think it’s natural to want to feel someone else. Even if you’re just having fun.”

“Having fun,” I repeat, picking at a loose thread on my shorts.

“Having fun,” she repeats, nodding her head. “Nova, no one’s telling you you’re not allowed to move on, are they?”

“No.” Just my own fucked up nightmares.

“Nova?” I look up to see her watching me carefully, like she can read right through me.

“I just. I feel guilty, you know?” She shakes her head, but I continue, needing to get this out. I need someone to hear me say it. “There are so many things I didn’t get to do.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know,” I muse. “Anal.”

Katelyn bursts out laughing and I instantly hate myself for saying the first thing that came to mind.

“Sorry,” I wince. “Too much?”

“No,” she squeals, shaking her head through the tears brimming in her eyes. “Not at all.” She sobers up, standing and crossing the room to sink down in front of me. “Nova. You need to experience life. Otherwise, when you’re old and gray, you’ll be lonely and you’ll regret the experiences you missed out on. If that’s anal with a hot fisherman, then at least you’ll have some fun stories to tell the kids later on.”

I blush so brightly that I swear my cheeks are melting off as we speak.

Anal with the hot fisherman. Something about sex with Reid just sounds like I’m going to have a limp the next day. The warmth pooling in my stomach isn’t anything new, it’s just . . . this is the first time I’ve admitted to myself or anyone else, out loud, that I want to sleep with Reid.

“It’s just one summer. A month and a couple days, at the most,” Katelyn explains, knocking my shoulder with her hand. “What can it hurt?”

Still . . .

“If you don’t, I will,” Katelyn smirks and even though I know her interests lie elsewhere and she would never, I can’t help but feel a twist of jealousy in my stomach.

“Reid was pretty good with his tongue last night. I think he took mouth aerobics or something because his kiss was intense.”

Katelyn just shakes her head, confused, but supportive, nonetheless.

“So, go for it. Make a dirty sex list and read off everything you want him to do to you in the next couple weeks and get to humping.”

I clench my eyes shut. “Please don’t ever say get to humping again.”

She snickers. “Come on. No more crying. Let’s get this room painted. I’m ready to never see beige again in my life.”

Katelyn and I don’t finish painting until near midnight. Thankfully, I don’t have to be up and at the inn until nine in the morning, so I’m okay getting home late.

Toast is happy to see me when I walk in, running outside immediately to pee on every piece of foliage he can find until he’s ready to come inside.

I need a serious shower to get the paint off. That’s what my mom always calls it when you get really dirty and have to scrub yourself clean.

I go to the kitchen and get a glass, sucking it down thirstily on my way to my bedroom when a knock sounds at the front door, making me jump out of my skin. I drop my glass of water and the ice is freezing against my toes as I scramble to calm Toast.

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