Page 166 of Forget Me Not

Reid really did do a good job cleaning the place up. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still so much work to do, but I no longer feel like I’m drowning when I think of the list.

Sophie was right. Gran can’t handle the cold. If Reid hadn’t fixed the furnace, we’d be popsicles.

I realized somewhere along the way on all my connecting flights to Alaska that it’s okay to admit defeat. It’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes, I really can’t do it all and I’m failing the people I love most by trying.

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but one I accept because, well, I’ve spent enough time being unhappy. Scared to move. To breathe.

I’ve let my mind rest on the waters of the Mississippi for far too long. Losing Reid made me see that. Not getting him back solidified it.

He may not have been in Alaska, but I tried. I did everything I could and it didn’t work out and sometimes, things don’t work out the way you want them to. You don’t get to meet the man who made you feel alive again, tell him you’re in love with him, and spend the rest of your life building something together.

Sometimes, you don’t get a second chance.

Still . . . even after all that, I know without a shadow of a doubt . . . Port Nova will never be the same without him. Neither will I.

My heart rests with a man who I have no idea if I’ll ever see again. It probably always will. As much as I tried to fight it. As much as I told myself it wasn’t possible and that I didn’t deserve it, it happened. And it was beautiful.

So, instead of going into the inn, admitting defeat, and letting myself get sucked back in, I decide to take one more day. One more day to myself to right the wrong in my head and pick up the pieces.

He’s gone.

Climbing the hill to the cottage, it’s hard to walk. The snow is deeper up here; untouched and thick, but I trudge through to my ivory tower on the hill, as Reid would call it, because I need to be alone. I need a shower. I need to sleep in a bed. I just need to be.

When I finally reach the top, I’m warm, despite the icy winds and I make my way to the porch. I’m about to twist the handle when a familiar yellow lab leaps onto the porch behind me and my heart falls to my toes.

“Jesus, Toast!” I scold, dropping my bag to the ground. “Where the hell did you come from?”

He doesn’t speak, attacking me with slobbery kisses and happy whimpers.

“I know,” I whisper, stooping down to scratch his head. “I missed you too. You owe me cuddles, though. I nearly had a heart attack.”

He stares at me with those big brown eyes and the failure really starts to set in. I know he misses Reid, too. Hell, everyone does. Even Pap.

“How about we go inside and make hot chocolate, put on our ugly pants and watch something trashy?”

“Would you settle for a sweet crab?”

I freeze, my chest locking up and my breathing all but stops.

I know that voice.

“Nova.”

Slowly, I raise to my feet and face him.

And everything explodes.

Reid stays a few feet back from the porch, his eyes, though weary, burn with an intensity as he watches me across the snow-covered clearing.

My pulse pounds in my throat, my heart fluttering rapidly.

Chocolate brown eyes. Inky black hair.

Waves thrash against the cliff below us, but it’s drowned out by the roaring of blood in my ears.

Reid. My Reid. Standing right in front of me.

“I . . . I came to find you . . .” I stammer, my voice so quiet I’m sure he didn’t even hear me.