Page 136 of Forget Me Not

It’s a bittersweet moment. Watching my childhood best friend marry the love of her life, but a happy one too. Manto’s a good man.

I know he’ll be a good husband.

It’s only my second time being a bridesmaid, but I think I do a good job. I stand there. I listen. I tear up when the pastor tells them they’re now man and wife. I even manage to not trip and fall on the way up the aisle, arm in arm with Manto’s cousin who walks entirely too fast for me.

I’ll admit. I’m a little jealous. Envious. Whatever you want to call it. The ceremony is beautiful and there’s not a doubt in my mind they love each other more than I thought possible for two people.

When the pastor talks about death’s parting and loving each other through it, I find myself drifting away, refusing to listen to this section. I’m over Jack’s death—well, as over it as one can be. I may have survived and for that, I’ll forever feel guilty, but he’s gone. No amount of begging will bring him back.

“What do you think the kid dancing with Katelyn is thinking?” Reid asks low in my ear. He’s holding me against him, slowly moving me around the dance floor at the reception in the midst of couples, kids, and people I don’t even know.

Carefully, I peek across the room to where a teen boy I think is Manto’s cousin is stumbling her through a dance, his eyes on his feet the entire time.

I giggle, turning away before they catch me staring. “Boobs. He’s definitely thinking about boobs.”

“I saw her and Crusty together. Are they . . .”

“Together?” He nods. “I guess so. She really likes him. He really likes her.”

I really like you, I want to say, but I stop myself. Allowing myself to speak it into existence with Katelyn is bad enough. Telling Reid I’ve fallen in love with him?

Worst idea ever.

In less than forty-eight hours, he’ll be boarding a plane to Alaska. I’ll be here, watching the skies like I’ll be able to see him flying away.

Because these are the consequences for my actions. There are no do-overs in life. I allowed myself to slip so far down, there’s no way to forget about it now.

I’m in love with Reid Morrison.

And he doesn’t love me back.

“I can’t say I blame him. I’ve been staring at yours for the past ten minutes.”

I snicker, unable to stop myself.

“You’re an ass.”

“And you’re beautiful.”

My heart stops. I should tell him to stop. Beg him to stop. It’ll only make it harder when he leaves.

But I don’t. I don’t because I don’t want to think about the future. What I’ll be doing. What life will be like.

Who I’ll be.

“How did you learn how to dance?” I ask quietly as the music gets lower. Slower.

He pauses for a moment before answering. “I spent a summer with an older couple down in Mississippi. They used to slow dance with each other, and I’d catch them. One night, the woman taught me.”

“Were they nice?”

“They were good people. They took care of me like I was their own.”

“I’m sorry,” I breathe. “It must have been hard to leave them.”

He shrugs, his throat bobbing. “I was too much for them to handle. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t keep me. I was already drinking. Doing shit I wasn’t supposed to. I was sixteen, so I was almost aged out, anyway.”

It hurts, thinking about him how he used to be. Just a broken kid, missing his mother and the father that he used to have.

---