Page 156 of Forget Me Not

I leave the captain’s quarters after dusk, when the water has returned to its darkness and all that’s left is the endless void that stretches on into nothingness.

I . . . need her.

There’s a craving in my stomach—an ache in my chest that won’t go away.

I can’t sleep. I can’t eat.

I’m a husk of the man I once was and it’s all because I left my heart on an island in the Atlantic with a girl whose eyes shine like the night stars and who’s smile is the only thing I can see when I close my eyes.

I fucking hate it here.

It’s cold. Miserable. Lonely.

Fuck, is it lonely.

Nova’s across the world, but she may as well be on another planet.

God, I’d give anything to see her smile again. Feel her warmth.

The men here are rough, all just as lonely as I am. We’ve left the people that mean the most to us to come out and do a job where we may not make it home.

I’ve heard the stories. Ships sink all the time out here on the choppy waters. There’s no stopping it. No land for miles. Just you and the water.

I used to love that . . . being alone on the sea.

Now, I fucking hate it.

Perhaps it’s just the permanent ache that’s developed in my chest from the loss of Nova. Maybe it’s the Bering Sea. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this anymore.

Running.

I’ve been running since I was sixteen. Unlike Nova, I was too afraid to face those demons that drove me from my past and consequently, they robbed me of time.

If I’d had that time, though, I know I would have spent all of it searching for her.

The girl with the pretty ocean eyes who looked up at me with so much fear the night I dragged her lifeless body from the Mississippi.

Because she was the end for me.

“Where’d you come from?”

I pause, not sure if I’d heard the kid that steps up into the wheelhouse correctly. So far, no one has really spoken to me, despite work. No one really speaks at all, unless it’s about the crab, the water, or how tired they are.

“Uh. North Carolina, originally.”

He smirks, leaning back in the co-pilot’s chair and propping his feet up on the desk. He studies me for a moment, almost as if he’s waiting for me to say something, but honestly, I don’t give a shit what he does, so long as he leaves me alone.

“Originally? You some kind of world traveler?”

“Something like that.”

“I only ask because I’ve never seen you around here, before. It’s a pretty tight-knit community, even with Big Crab coming in and trying to wipe out the little guys.”

“Big Crab?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs. “This ship. All the ones some big company owns that they send us out on every season. Shit companies, if you ask me.”

“So, why are you here?”

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