Page 15 of Tease Me

Exhaustion fills me and I want to curl up and sleep right where I am. However, before I can even say a word, the need to get sick overcomes me. I jump from the couch and frantically look around.

“What’s the matter, Kendell?” Alex asks me as I cover my mouth with my hand.

“She’s gonna be sick. This has been happenin’ every day this week,” Hawk tells her as he rushes me from Reaper’s office and to the bathroom a few doors down the hall.

I barely make it in front of the toilet before I get sick. Hawk holds my hair back and rubs a hand up and down my back while I get sick. He doesn’t say a word to me the entire time. I hear the door open before a cold washcloth is pressed to the back of my neck under my long hair. I’m already covered in sweat. I hate getting sick!

“Sparky, I think it might be time to take you to the doctor and find out what’s goin’ on. Um, maybe they can do a test to check certain things,” Hawk says, not giving anything away in case someone is listening to him talk to me.

I just nod my head in response.

Hawk manages to get me into the doctor immediately. After I’m done getting sick and cleaning up, he takes me through the clubhouse and out to his truck. I get in the passenger seat with his help before he runs around to the driver’s side. We don’t speak on our way through town but Hawk does rest a hand on my thigh and doesn’t move it the entire drive. I can’t focus on anything because the answers we get today might change our lives completely. I don’t know if I’m happy about what might be going on, or upset at the possibility of being pregnant. And I have no clue where Hawk’s mind is when it comes to this entire situation.

“We’re here, Kendell,” he says, pulling me out of my head as I look around and find us parked in front of a house instead of a doctor’s office.

“I thought we were going to the doctor’s?” I question him, my voice a whisper after the events of the day.

“We are. Dr. Morris operates out of this house. She’s got everythin’ in there from what I’ve been told. All the ol’ ladies in the club come to her. She’s delivered every baby that runs around our clubhouse. Instead of takin’ you to Doc, an older gentlemen, I thought you’d be more comfortable comin’ here instead. They can do the test and tell us one way or the other if you’re pregnant or not. If you are, Dr. Morris can get you started on what she wants and we’ll go from there,” Hawk informs me as he turns me to look at him. “No matter what happens, I’m not goin’ anywhere, Kendell. I don’t know what the fuck you’re doin’ to me, but I can’t walk away from you.”

“I feel the same,” I whisper, looking at him and only him.

Hawk grounds me in a way I’ve never had before. When the thoughts are swirling in an endless loop in my mind, he keeps secure instead of spiraling out of control. Yeah, I still get lost in my head, but it’s not like it normally is where it takes someone several minutes to get me pulled free. One look from him and my body is on fire with a deep ache in my core. He doesn’t have to touch me for that to happen. I can’t stop thinking about him when we’re not together and he allows me to explore things without the fear of judgment. I’ve never met anyone like him and I don’t know if I’ll ever get enough. Like I said before, he’s got the power to break me and has no clue at all.

After helping me out of his truck, Hawk laces our fingers together and leads me to the front of the house. He walks in and heads for the receptionist.

“Can I help you?” she asks, her voice pleasant and happy as she looks at me and not Hawk.

“Um, Hawk got me an appointment here. My name is Kendell Nash,” I tell her as she smiles up at me from her seat.

“Yes. If you can fill out this paperwork, someone will be right out to get you,” she says, grabbing a clipboard and pen to hand over to me.

Thanking her, Hawk leads us to the seats where we choose two together and I start filling everything out. Hawk watches over my shoulder as I answer every question and answers the ones about the father of the baby when we get to that section. He doesn’t hesitate to rattle off the answers while looking at what I write for myself. A large part of me doesn’t want to get my hopes up that this is how he’s gonna be if I’m actually pregnant, but I have a feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to him.

It doesn’t take long before I’m called back and Hawk once again laces our fingers together before walking back with me. The nurse takes my vitals and sends me into the bathroom to leave a sample for them to test. Once I’m done, she leads us to the exam room to ask more questions about my history and what brings me in for today’s visit. When she’s done, she tells me to strip down so I can get a full exam done. Before leaving us in the room, she sets out a regular hospital gown and one of those paper sheet things that are scratchy as hell. Hawk doesn’t take his eyes off me as I get undressed and hand him over my clothing. He folds it all, keeping my panties and bra hidden from anyone else seeing them. Once I’m naked, I put the gown on and take a seat on the exam table. I hate these exams and would avoid them at all costs if I could.

Hawk and I don’t have to wait long before there’s a knock on the door and a younger woman makes her way in the exam room.

“Hello Kendell. I’m Dr. Morris. Hawk, it’s always good to see a club member in my office. First of all, I’ve performed the pregnancy test and I can say you are pregnant. I don’t want to perform an ultrasound at this visit, but do you have an idea of how far along you could possibly be?” Dr. Morris asks, shocking me as I stare at her with my mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“Um, I’m going to say about five weeks,” I tell her, looking at Hawk for confirmation.

“I’d say that’s about right,” he answers, his voice calming me even though he keeps his face blank so I have no clue what he’s thinking or feeling.

“Okay. You’ve had no bleeding? Pain in your stomach? Anything that would be worrisome knowing now that you’re pregnant?” she questions me as I think about the last several weeks.

“No. Um, I think I’ve gotten sick maybe once a day or so for the last week. It doesn’t seem to be anything I can’t handle right now. I still eat three meals a day. I’m really exhausted though,” I answer her, laying back on the exam table with her help so she can start the exam.

“That’s good. If it changes, call me and I’ll get you something to help control that. For now, keep doing what you’re doing. Limit your caffeine intake if you drink coffee, I want you to switch to decaf. Make sure you snack in between your meals if you’re hungry as well. You’re eating for two now and your body is going to constantly be changing,” Dr. Morris says as she performs the exam.

When she’s done, Dr. Morris helps me sit up once more and goes over everything else I’ll need to know. She wants me to come see her once a month for now and to start taking prenatal vitamins. Hawk listens intently to everything she says and I know he’s going to make sure I follow every direction she’s giving me. By the time we leave her office, my head is spinning with information and the knowledge that Hawk and I have to talk about this. I need to know where his head is and that he knows I’m not gonna trap him into taking care of a baby he doesn’t truly want. All I want right now though, is to go back to his house, climb in his giant bed, and sleep for a few hours. I want to forget the day and everything that happened. Especially the phone call and the fool I made of myself as a result of the call from Martin.

Chapter Ten

Hawk

I CAN’T FUCKING believe Kendell’s actually pregnant with my baby. We knew there was a possibility of it happening when the condom broke. Since we found out the results, Kendell has been extremely quiet and spends more time in the bedroom alone than coming out to spend time with Kelsey and Gideon. I’ve tried to explain she’s got a lot going on, but I don’t know what to say because I don’t have a clue where the fuck her head is about the pregnancy. And that’s gonna end today. Walking through the house after watching the guys pick up Kelsey and Gideon to take down to the clubhouse for their counseling sessions, I make my way to the bedroom and close the door behind me in case Kelsey comes back for something. She’ll find out our news when Kendell is ready to tell her.

“Sparky, we need to talk,” I tell her, stepping up on her side of the bed and pulling the blankets back so I can see her face.

---