Page 47 of Master Debater

This morning, over coffee, I’d gone over my instructions on taking care of Van Gogh again, and then Nate had placed the keys in my palm. He’d curled my fingers over the fob, keeping his hold as he informed me he had one more condition, and it was that I couldn’t remove the “decoration” around his shifter.

There’d been sexy threats involving creative punishments, and now I couldn’t look at the console of the car without blushing. I’d never dreamed of being so desired by anyone, much less someone as handsome, smart, and kind as Nate.

It made it easier to feel indifferent when I walked toward Eric. Yeah, there’d likely be some anger and things might get ugly, but not so much of a pinch of hurt remained over his betrayal. My ex put the “settle” in the term settling down, and that made it easier to walk with a bounce in my step, my perspective on the day dwelling on the new start instead of the ending.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said to Eric as he continued to gape at me.

“No wonder offering to pay off your car wasn’t enough.” Eric jerked his chin at the Porsche. “How’d you afford that?”

“Oh. I didn’t.” Again, I wished I could get away with lifting my phone to capture the moment I baffled and frustrated Eric so thoroughly I’d rendered him speechless. I opened the door to the building where the divorce settlement conference would take place and gestured him ahead of me. “Shall we?”

Three hours later, I’d lost count of how many times I’d gritted my teeth until my molars threatened to crack. There’d been sighs and glowers on both sides. Eric had pushed, and I’d stood my ground and pushed right back.

After too many years of giving in, buckling to his demands, and allowing my voice to be silenced—to the point I’d hardly sang the entire past year—it felt damn good too.

Finally, we reached an agreement. Eric got the house, as we’d first agreed, and I accepted a decent payout amount that’d been calculated by dividing up the business’s assets over the past six years. It was enough to pay off my mom’s car outright, and for me to have a down payment saved up for when I purchased a new vehicle. It also ensured my financial security while I transitioned into my new career.

My name would no longer be on the lease, so anything that happened to Eric’s practice would no longer have any bearing on my credit score.

We thanked our attorneys and the mediators, and Eric and I ended up walking out of the building together.

This time, he held the door for me instead of the other way around. “I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

In some ways, that fit. I was a different woman than the one who’d first driven away from Sugar River. I never would’ve believed I could bounce back so quickly.

Guess that’s why they call it a rebound. Although, Nate was so much more than that. He was the guy who’d caught the ball and taught me a new way to play the game.

“Returning to Boston and immersing myself in my music, has felt like coming home in a lot of ways. I lost sight of myself during the past couple of years. It was convenient to blame you, but I’m the one who let that spark inside of me get buried.”

“That must be it—you’ve definitely gotten your spark back. You’ve lost some weight too.”

The compliment, if that’s what it was, rankled. “I’ve been riding a bike to and from work and walking to get groceries. Boston’s better set up to allow me to do that.” While getting more exercise had boosted my energy and happiness levels, I’d embraced my curves. Nate’s excitement for them had allowed me to see them through a new lens, whereas Eric had often commented on everything I ate at this same weight, and it bothered me he felt the need to comment at all. He no longer had the right.

Strike that—he never had the right.

“If you looked and acted like this during the last few years of our marriage,” Eric said, “maybe we could’ve worked it out.”

My steps faltered, and then I stopped, so abruptly Eric ran right into the back of me. I whirled around, jabbing a finger at him the same way I’d done to Nate’s uncles last weekend. “Seriously? You’re still putting responsibility for why you cheated on me? I’m more than what the scale says, Eric.”

“Don’t be naïve, Willa. Whether you like it or not, that stuff matters to all guys, not just me.”

“Interesting, because I have a guy, and he doesn’t give a shit what I weigh. He likes me exactly as I am.”

For a moment, I thought I’d gotten him, the victory that sprang to the tip of my tongue with the words deliciously sweet.

My ex blinked, his bafflement another unspoken insult that made me wonder what I’d ever seen in him. Then the corner of his mouth kicked up, the slant smug and a pinch cruel. “Sure. Right now, it’s new and exciting. You’re both trying to impress each other. He has no idea how needy you can be, and guys’ll say about anything to get laid.”

“You’d know,” I shot back, my face heating as anger crested within me.

“Yeah, and that’s how I also know that the novelty will wear off, sooner or later. It’ll stop being fun and convenient, or you’ll get comfortable, and let yourself go. Then, instead of looking at yourself, you’ll wonder where the spark’s gone.”

One thing about knowing someone as well as Eric and I had at one point was that he still had the tools to slice me to the quick. I hated that his comments could still sting, but he’d wielded his insults with scalpel sharp precision.

You’re not the Willa that rolls over and takes it anymore. You’re stronger than this. “The only letting myself go I did while I was with you involved letting go of my dreams. It wasn’t worth it by a long shot, and I’ll never do that again.”

“I just figured it out—that’s his car.”

I didn’t reply, merely reached for the door handle of the Porsche, eager to put my ex and this place in my rearview mirror again.

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