Page 16 of Master Debater

Nate blinked, and I took that to mean he didn’t know. Yeah, that checked out. Who’d cheat on him?

“Sorry. That came out bitterer than I meant it to.” I screwed up my forehead, my mind snagging on the most inconsequential details. “Bitterer? Is that a word? It sounds weird.”

Focus, Willa.

I aimed a sheepish grin at him. “Kind of like someone kissing you and then telling you they’re married, am I right?”

Again with the blank stare and one slow blink. Maybe I should’ve stuck with my earlier decision and headed home after I’d finished off my wine. But the idea of missing out on hearing him play the piano, and the moment when I’d lost myself to singing, ached too badly to regret. Even if the night was quickly going down in flames.

I went to fiddle with my ring, the way I used to when I was nervous, only to remember it no longer adorned my finger, and ugh. Why was muscle memory so strong? And why was I so not? I cleared my throat and gestured toward the stairs. “I’ll just go. Sorry again.”

Halfway down, I heard heavy footfalls behind me. I glanced over my shoulder to verify it was Nate, as though it might be someone else, and stumbled on the next step. I gripped the banister, remaining upright through sheer strength of will. After the beating my pride had just taken, I couldn’t handle a second fall.

Or would it be third, on account of the first night we met?

“Hold up,” Nate said as my feet hit the bottom step. I continued across the living room, slowing my steps but not sure I could handle seeing his face so expressionless again. Not after it’d held such passion mere minutes ago. Passion for me too, which was why I’d gone and kissed him.

Stupid guilt had to rise up and ruin it all. If only I could allow my ovaries to overrule my heart, like so many guys did with their dicks. Take Eric, for instance.

Nate reached around me, opening the door for me, and I turned to say goodbye. But then he jerked his chin across the cement step, toward my front door. “I’ll walk you all the way.”

“Are you sure? It’s quite a long walk.”

At his soft laugh, a dangerous sliver of hope wiggled its way under my skin. Maybe I hadn’t entirely ruined things between us. I took solace in the cool air, and how it helped take the edge off the embarrassing heat that’d been coursing through me on an accelerating loop.

After unlocking my door, I mustered up my courage to face him, so I could smooth over the mess I’d made the best I could. “Thank you for tonight; I need it.” Okay, that was rather nebulous. “The song part, I mean. Plus, the wine. And the kissing too, actually. I know it might not seem like it, since I screwed it all up before we got to the sex part, but I did need it.”

My gaze dropped to the toes of our shoes, so close yet so far. “I just felt like you should know so that you wouldn’t think I was hiding stuff from you. Even though I’m not sure if you’d care since you…” I shook my head, reminding myself succinct was better. “I’m also worried that since it’s so fresh and raw, it’s too soon to go kissing someone else”—realizing I was doing the opposite of what I’d advised myself to do, I slapped a hand over my face—“and, holy shit, why am I still talking?”

I spun around, the humiliating heat now an inferno the night air couldn’t touch. “Anyway, goodbye forever.”

Long fingers manacled my wrist, stopping me from disappearing inside to rehash how bad I was at life.

“Not forever, okay?” Nate’s words trailed after me, and everything inside of me unraveled and puddled at my feet. At his light tug, I slowly pivoted on my heel. “Not that it’d be possible with our living situation, but…”

He should be running in the other direction until he was nothing but a dark blip of an outline. Instead, he stepped closer and cupped my cheek, the comforting gesture a balm to my frayed nerves. “You’re obviously going through some stuff, and I’m sorry I didn’t take the news better?—”

“Well, I did blurt it out in, like, the worst possible way. If anything, it just proves how much of a mess I am. The last thing you’d want to do is get entangled with someone like me.”

“Oh, if I had my way, we’d be very entangled in my sheets right now. To be clear.”

My attempt to swallow went nowhere.

Dark espresso eyes came to rest on mine. “Honestly, the main reason I didn’t move or say anything for so long up there is that it’s the first time in my life I’ve ever thought that I didn’t give a fuck if you were already taken.”

My stomach soared up, up, up, crowding my heart into my throat.

“Considering he cheated on you,” Nate continued, “you sure as hell don’t owe him anything. You know that, right?”

I opened my mouth to insist I did, but his words rattled loose something I hadn’t even realized until now. “My brain gets that, which is why I made out with you in the first place—well, that, and I really wanted to.”

One side of his mouth lifted in a cocky smile. Gah, it made it that much harder not to continue acquainting myself with every inch of those sexy, pouty lips.

Nate was right. Eric had cheated and, worse, excused his behavior while shifting the blame on me. He’d screwed over my self-esteem and head as thoroughly as he’d screwed the twenty-two-year-old blonde who’d fallen for the same charms I had when he and I first met.

The betrayal stung like a bitch, no doubt about it. In a way, I also felt guilty because even though I’d been growing unhappier with him, from the way he constantly poked at my weight, dumped extra tasks on me, and then shut me out emotionally, a small part of me had been glad it’d finally given me a valid reason to leave him. I’d needed a good excuse to be selfish and follow my dreams.

“You okay?” Nate asked, and the drag of his thumb had me leaning into the warmth of his body.

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