Page 93 of Tame Me

We sat in silence, the two of us sucking back shaky breaths. It was an eternity before I formulated what I needed to say. I reached for his hand, wove my fingers into his, and squeezed. “I want to thank you.”

His jaw squared out as he blinked at me.

“I want to thank you for showing me everything good there is in a man. We shared some truly magical times both in the bedroom and outside. I am stronger because of you, and I feel blessed that we met.”

His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, but that was his only movement.

“But I know we won’t be happy together. We may be for a while, but soon, the cracks will show. We’ll begin to fight a little, then it’ll be a lot, and one day we’ll wake up hating each other. I don’t want that to happen. I want to remember this year and all the magical moments we had together. I want to remember you exactly as you are—incredible. I’m sorry, Billy. I never meant to hurt you. I hope that in your heart you know I’m right and will one day forgive me.”

I kissed the back of his hand and stood. My heart pounding in my ears was the only sound as I strode to my bag, which was still on the floor at the front door. I picked it up and, with my hand on the door handle, I turned back to Billy.

He hadn’t moved. His bare back faced me, but in the mirror, I saw his slumped shoulders, his downward face, and most of all, I saw the sadness in his eyes. “I will never forget you, Billy.”

I pulled open the door and stepped into the corridor. Every step toward the elevator was hell. My heart squeezed so tightly I could barely breathe, and tears blurred my vision making it impossible to see.

Somehow, I made it to my room. I strode straight to my bed, flopped down face-first, and bawled my eyes out.

Poor Billy.

I couldn’t get that final image of him from my mind.

He was a broken man, and it was all my fault.

It was an eternity before I was able to move again, and when I rolled onto my side, I tugged my phone from the inside zipper of my bag and dialed Lolita.

It rang a few times, which wasn’t like Lolita, but when the phone clicked, and the raucous music blared down the line, I was surprised she’d answered the phone at all. “Hey, babe.”

I didn’t even get a word out before I broke down sobbing.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I still couldn’t speak.

“Hang on. Let me go outside.”

I wiped snot from my nose and rubbed it on my dress. As I inhaled and let it out slowly, I hoped I’d be able to speak again soon.

I heard a door shut, and the noise simmered down. “Are you okay?”

“Yes . . . and no.”

“Okay, babe. Tell me what’s happened.”

“I broke up with . . . with . . .”

“With who, honey?”

“With Billy.” I howled, squeezed my eyes shut, and flopped back onto the bed.

Lolita spoke to me, but her soothing voice only made me cry more. Eventually, I couldn’t cry anymore.

“Hey, do you want me to come over?”

“No.” I rubbed tears from my lower lashes. “I’ll be okay. I’m just being a sook.”

“You’re not a sook. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

I wiped my nose again and sniffed a few times. Then I told her everything, from the mind-blowing sex on the kitchen counter, to the hat, to what I’d said, and finally, to the shattered man I’d left sitting on the bed.

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