Page 88 of Tame Me

With that thought, I wrote, Sex is my Drug at the top of the page.

By the time I’d finished, I’d filled two and a half pages with details of my evening with Mason. I flipped the diary closed, crawled under my bedsheet, and rolled onto my side.

I tugged my spare pillow to my chest, wrapped my arm around it, and let the lovely post-sex throb ebbing through my body lull me to sleep.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The second I hopped out of the taxi, my senses were hit by two things. The first was the bustling crowds, and the second was “Jingle Bells” blaring from the discreet speakers in the newly renovated shopping center walls.

Pacific Fair was alive. I had hoped by coming here on a Wednesday afternoon, I’d miss most of the crowds. I’d been so wrong.

With my Christmas shopping list in hand, I headed toward the first jewelry store I knew of. Half an hour later, I walked out four hundred dollars poorer, and with my first two Christmas gifts hanging off my arm. The heavy silver football cufflinks were perfect for my brother, and with the number of fancy dinner functions Tyler attended, I knew he’d use them. For Aunty Ann, I found the perfect pair of gold drop earrings with a dainty pearl dangling at the bottom. I could easily picture her wearing them.

My next purchases were a bottle of Chanel No. 5 perfume for Mom and Aramis cologne for Dad. I spent too much time choosing Christmas cards for them all and then headed to the post office. Unlike I had the previous three years, I put a bit more effort into my written messages to the people I loved. My recent visit back home had improved my relationships with them all, and for the first time since I left home, I actually felt a twang of loneliness knowing I’d be spending another Christmas without family around me.

I boxed up the gifts and handed them over the counter to be posted.

With that done, I went in search of the remaining gifts on my list. Cal’s present would be similar to the one I purchased for him every Christmas. A large glass jar filled to the rim with sweets. Lolita never had treats in her house.

Each year, I helped Calvin out with his sugar cravings, and each year, Lolita would scowl at me. It had become a running joke. I searched several shops to find a suitable jar, and the one I chose had me giggling. The jar was a Big Ass Jar—literally. It was shaped like a woman’s bottom with a blue G-string painted on it. Once I filled it with Jellybeans, it would be the perfect gift for Cal. I couldn’t wait to see Cal’s reaction when he unwrapped this on Christmas day.

After I paid for it, I headed toward Kmart.

I purchased a remote-controlled helicopter for Maddox, and for Savannah, I chose a coloring book filled with exotic flora and fauna, and a giant pack of coloring pencils. My gift for Lolita would have to wait.

I planned to get her the same purple knee-high boots that I’d worn for Mason Cole the other week. I just hoped the store I’d bought them from still stocked them or could get them in for me.

With my shopping bags weighing down my arms, I headed toward the grocery store. I walked past a nail salon, stopped, and with a recollection of Lolita’s comment about me stepping things up a notch, I walked into Dawn’s Nails and Beauty.

Within a couple of minutes, a young woman named Laura who had the most stunning eyelashes I’d ever seen was explaining the differences between gel and acrylic nails. With the decision made, Laura set about applying layer upon layer of gel to my nails.

While she was busy, my mind flitted all over the place. One minute, I was contemplating the fact that both my brother and I were unmarried and without children, and the next, I was thinking about the other men in my life.

In particular the three men who I’d seen many times this year: Billy, Hunter, and Henry. They were all drastically different.

It was impossible to understand how I could be attracted to all three.

In my mind, I tried to list what I found appealing about them.

All three were incredible in bed. They all had amazing bodies. They were kind, considerate, compassionate, and confident.

Maybe they weren’t so different after all.

“What color polish would you like?” Laura dragged me from my musing.

“Oh, what are my choices?”

Laura handed me a booklet containing what seemed like thousands of pictures of nail art. The choice was overwhelming . . . much like my men.

After much deliberation, I chose a pretty Christmas theme which consisted of a beautiful ruby red base with a tiny gold outline of a Christmas tree. It was simple yet stylish and I was impressed when Laura painted the tree on freehand. She topped the nails with yet another clear layer, and forty minutes after I walked into the salon, I walked out with the best-looking nails I’d ever had.

I couldn’t stop glancing at them as I made my way toward the grocery store. Pushing the cart, I zipped up and down the aisles, tossing necessities in. My mind, however, was back on the three wonderful men in my life and whether or not I should buy Christmas gifts for them. And if I did, what would I get?

As I stewed over this decision, I realized I barely knew them at all. Sure, I knew every inch of their bodies, and I knew they were incredible lovers. I even knew what they each did for a living. But I had very little knowledge of what they liked and didn’t like. Between the three of them, Hunter was probably the one I knew the most.

I smiled as I thought of him and how wonderful our conversation flowed. Hunter and I could talk for hours and never run out of things to say.

Was that the definition of love?

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