Page 60 of Tame Me

The idea of that ate away at my soul. As a tear trickled down my cheek, I wrote Losing my Soul at the top of the page.

Snapping the diary shut, I sighed, and as my appetite evaporated, I pushed my sandwich away. My mind flitted to my silly notion earlier today when I’d proclaimed that every new day was the dawn of a new beginning. It suddenly seemed foolish, and I was fairly certain I wouldn’t feel any better come daylight tomorrow.

With just five weeks left, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to finish my challenge.

Chapter Seventeen

Exercise was usually the perfect way to clear my mind. Not today, though. Running on the treadmill was nothing but a chore. I tried to empty my brain of the swirling thoughts and focus solely on pumping my arms in perfect coordination with my feet, but it was impossible.

It was four days since I’d seen Hunter, and nearly every second since then, I’d been analyzing my relationship with him and the stupid mess I’d put myself in.

Lolly jumped her feet to either side of her spinning treadmill and turned to me. “What’s up, babe?”

I stepped to the sides of my treadmill, too. “Nothing.” I sighed. “Everything.”

She reached over and touched my arm. “Shall we go to the coffee shop?”

Asking Lolly to cut her exercise routine short would be like asking her to cut off her left arm. Obviously, not an option. “No. I’ll be okay.”

“You don’t look okay.”

“Gee, thanks.” I wiped sweat from my brow.

“You know what I mean. How about we finish this workout then you can pump yourself full of sugar and tell me what’s troubling you?”

“Sounds good.” I jumped back on the treadmill and ran to keep up with my spinning mat.

“Thata girl.”

Lolly hit the treadmill at full speed, running at a frightening pace. Her high ponytail swung from side to side, and her arms thrust back and forth, yet she breathed like someone strolling along the beach.

Forty minutes later, after an intense core body session with weights where she nearly broke me, it was finally over. We grabbed our towels and bags from the lockers and headed to the Blue Haven Café.

Our usual table was vacant as if begging for our presence. Matt served us with his constant sneer, and I ordered a white chocolate and macadamia muffin warmed up with cream on the side and a cappuccino.

Lolly placed her standard order of green tea and the second Matt ambled away, she leaned forward and placed her hand over my wrist. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“It’s Hunter.”

“The chocolate guy? Did he do something to you?”

“No. No. Nothing like that. It’s just . . . I really like him. I mean a lot. But he doesn’t even know the real me. He doesn’t even know my name.”

“Oh, babe. It’ll work itself out.”

I shook my head. “No, it won’t. How could he forgive me after all my lies?”

“Whoa! You like him that much?”

I nodded. “Yes, but how do I tell him the truth after all this time?” I searched her eyes, anticipating her solution to my problems. But as the seconds ticked on, I conceded the worst . . . she didn’t have one. Even Lolita, who had an answer for everything, couldn’t help me. My chin dimpled, and I tugged my lip into my mouth, determined not to cry.

She squeezed my arm. “Oh, babe. Don’t cry.”

That, of course, opened the floodgates. Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I flicked them away, angry with myself. Our food and drinks arrived, and I utilized the distraction to temper my emotions. Lolita’s intense blue pools examined me, and I felt like she was peeling open my skull to read my brain. The second Matt left, she leaned forward. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“That I’m such an idiot.”

“No, you’re not.”

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