Page 118 of Tame Me

“Jane, I’d love you to meet my girlfriend, Sunny. Sunny, this’s Jane, the friend of Lolita’s I told you about.”

“Oh, right. Lovely to meet you.” Sunny held her hand toward me, and we shook.

I swallowed. “Lovely to meet you too.”

“We’ve been dating for about two months now.” Clayton put his arm around his stunning girlfriend. “Sunny has a daughter the same age as Telitha.” He turned to Sunny, and when their eyes met, I just about threw up. “We’re all so happy together.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m happy for you.”

What the hell’s wrong with me? Two seconds ago, I’d thought we were flirting.

Am I that desperate?

I had to get away before the plain Jane in me said something that embarrassed the shit out of me.

“Anyway, I’m going to see if Lolita needs help in the kitchen.” Sunny and Clayton barely glanced in my direction, and with each step I slinked away, I felt like everyone else stared at me with pity in their eyes.

I was swimming through a pit of mud, barely able to breathe. I needed to get out of there. I needed to go home.

I went upstairs to Lolita’s bedroom first and grabbed my bag from her duchess, then I returned downstairs and sought her out. She was in the kitchen, checking something cooking in the oven. She shut the oven door and turned to me with a smile, but before I even spoke, her smile fell away, and her eyes bulged. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

My chin dimpled, and I fought it with all my might. “Clayton has a girlfriend.”

“I just found that out, too.” She frowned. “But why does that upset you?”

I splayed my fingers on the counter. “I don’t know.”

“Come here.” She wrapped her arms around me, but it only made my sorrow ten times worse.

Using my knuckle, I dabbed a tear from my lower eyelid. “I’m going home.”

“No.” She pulled back. “Don’t go. It’s only just gone ten o’clock.”

“I don’t care. I just want this year over with.”

She frowned, and I could tell she was on the verge of arguing. I beat her to it by leaning forward and kissing her cheek. “I’ve already called an Uber,” I lied. “He’ll be here soon.”

She tilted her head to the side. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, unable to speak.

“Okay, well . . . I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can go to lunch or something.”

I nodded again, and pleased with how easily I’d gotten away, I headed out the front door. As I stood in her driveway, the noise drifted from the backyard in a dull cacophony of laughter and music. I used my phone to check if there was an Uber nearby.

There were about fifty, and I pressed the button and leaned back on the garage pillar as I waited. The bricks were warm, the result of baking in the western sun, and I tried to use the heat to settle my rattled nerves.

The Uber only took seven minutes to arrive. I climbed into the back, and the lady driver made a few attempts to make conversation before thankfully, she gave up. The crowds and blocked off streets made the drive much longer than I’d hoped, and we arrived at the drop-off zone at the Hot Horizon Hotel just before eleven.

I went straight to my apartment, stripped, scrubbed off my makeup, unpinned my hair, and had a long, hot shower. Afterward, I pulled on my cotton PJs, and with a bottle of wine in hand, a glass, and a packet of corn chips in the other, I headed out to my balcony, ready to watch the fireworks. I filled the glass to the brim, swallowed back a huge gulp, and shoved an entire corn chip into my mouth.

“Now this is living,” I said to the enormous crowd lining the beach.

As it ticked into the final hour of the year, the noise from the beach grew louder, and my thoughts about how I’d feel waking up tomorrow grew more and more confusing.

On one hand, I hadn’t found a man. But on the other hand, I’d found me.

And although I’d end this year alone, I no longer felt lonely.

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