Page 33 of SnapShot

There’s guns stashed all over the house, left by Pop. He insisted that I learn to shoot properly as soon as I could hold a pistol. As a retired green beret and policeman, he’d seen some shit. Shit that he wouldn’t let the women in his life go through if he could prevent it.

Too bad I hadn’t had a gun on me at the campsite. Brad would’ve had a permanent hole between his eyes if I had. Maybe then, I could rest easier knowing he couldn’t come after me again.

I flip the hall light on to ease my mind as I climb the stairs two at a time.

Making it into my room, I launch myself onto my bed, surprisingly without spilling a drop of amber. A little laugh bubbles up my throat as I take the first gulp.

The calming effect of the liquid takes over along with the need to sleep. God, I haven’t had a good night’s worth in what feels like ages. The lack of sleep and food combined over the last several weeks must contribute to my lower alcohol tolerance because I shouldn’t be feeling this way after a single beer. My body aches with longing for it to take me under its spell.

I must have had my head propped up on my hand when I dozed off because a slight dip in the mattress beside me has my neck plummeting and my heart racing. How long was I out? And who the hell is in my bed?

“Easy, killer. It’s just me.” He reached across my shoulders to pull my head toward him as he placed a kiss to my temple.

Relief flooded my system at the sight and feel of him.

“You scared the shit out of me, Charlie. I didn’t know you were coming over tonight, or I would have waited up for you.”

His eyes left mine to find the dropped bottle on the floor and came back. His eyebrows arched in question and a dash of humor danced in his stare.

“Looks like the party’s already started without me.”

“I can’t be blamed when apparently both of us missed the invitation.”

He chuckled, and it brought a genuine smile to my lips.

“No worries. We can start our own party right now if you want.”

We haven’t had sex since the incident happened aside from what transpired in the bathroom the other night, and that wasn’t full-blown. He never actually touched me. The thought of taking him up on his offer sends my heart running away split in half.

Of course, I want to, but I’m torn. The fear strangling the one half of my heart is not letting up. Sometimes, you just have to buckle up and do it scared. I’m hoping this is one of those times.

“Okay.” I give him a nod.

“Are you sure? I’ll wait as long as you need me to. Please don’t do this for me. I’m here for you. No matter what that looks like.” He rubs my back in circles.

“I’m sure.” The fact that he reacted this way solidifies my desire to try.

“If you need anything, let me know. I don’t care what it is or what is happening. I’ll do it. If we need to stop, just say the word.”

I rip my shirt over my head to signal that I’m done with the sappy shit. He wants a party? Good; let’s have one.

I shimmy my chest in front of him as I balance on my knees to unbutton my jeans. He wears a shit-eating grin when I land on my back below him, losing my pants shortly after.

His eyes meet mine when his hands grip my panties to peel them off of me, and the feather of his touch sets sparks aflame all over.

He crawls to settle between my thighs, looking ready to devour me. I hope I’ll let him. The nerves thrumming through my limbs make me shiver with both desire and fear. Charlie pebbles kisses up one thigh and down the other until he’s poised right over the apex. His tongue warms my center for a split-second before his finger enters me.

I can’t stop the influx of heavy breathing as the fear begins to take over the desire. I squeeze my eyes closed, trying to focus on the pleasure alone. My stomach feels as though I’m racing a car over the top of a steep hill, making it plummet out of my ass and not in the good way.

A single tear escapes the corner of my eyes, falling to my ear. I don’t tell him to stop though. I can do this. I just have to get past the fear. Breathe through it. I'm safe here. This is Charlie. No one else is here.

God, I love sex. Why did he have to fuck up basically the only part of me that wasn’t broken? Sex was my safe place, and now I’m scared to sleep with my boyfriend? This blows. I want to kill that fucker for ruining this for me.

“Hey, where’d you go? Are you okay?”

Giving my head a little shake, I finally nod. “I’m good. Sorry.”

“Stay with me. It’s just us here.”

---