Page 45 of Conquered Obstacles

“Yes, I didn’t understand it—”

“You were an idiot, Cole. I immediately understood when I was caught up.” He let out a slow breath and met his friend’s gaze. “But you were an idiot who was drowning. I’m sorry I didn’t know that either.” He waited until Colton nodded. “You also have to accept you won’t have another of her firsts. Not ever. They can be firsts with you, but—it’s not healthy for her.”

“I’m a bit shocked you’re interjecting like this,” I admitted as I made plates and everything we needed appear.

Jamie shrugged. “I care for you both and have an outside perspective, but I’m not an outsider to this. Plus, you said I got to be in charge since I’m not scary. I’m doing it for this too. Unless you tell me not to.”

“I’m actually curious how you see it,” Colton admitted which surprised me.

Jamie nodded and offered him a container before putting it in front of me. “I’ve done a lot of reading on traumas and how to help a lover who has been raped and endured sexual crimes. Some of what was suggested worked. I’ve talked about what I think could be next with Arabella. You and Isiah push. You get…”

“Needy,” I muttered, focused on my sweet and sour pork. “Jamie told me not to mistreat him, and I knew I messed up, but not like I’m guilty. It was a mistake he rightfully called me on, but it was done. You and Isiah make me feel like I’m failing as a goddess and as a woman. It’s probably not fair, but I feel too much pressure. And you wanted to be first, and he wanted to be right there with you—”

“I’m not scary,” Jamie said gently, rubbing my shoulder. “You’ve told me no and not felt guilty or like I might leave, right?”

I smiled at him. “No, you’re my loyal golden retriever lover. Even if you growl and make me feel sexy.”

He winked at me. “Then they need to both understand that I will probably have the rest of your firsts. And if not, that’s fine too.”

“Because you don’t care that they’re her first,” Colton muttered.

“Nope. We’re redoing our history and experiences together. You guys can do the same when she’s comfortable. But I think you guys restarting as friends is great as long as you’re not alone to start. She’s still too upset for that. She flinches and steps away from you. That’s not healthy for her. Even if I’m in the house or whatever.”

“I would agree to that,” Colton said immediately, surprising me. He nodded when I looked at him. “I get desperate, Arabella. I lose my mind that it’s over and we are done and… I tried to behave better and understand. Jamie’s right that I was too far underwater. I can’t ever understand what you suffered.”

I ate for a bit and thought about what they’d said and found myself nodding. “I’d like my friend Colton back. Slowly.”

“Slowly,” he said with a shaky breath.

“Slowly is good,” Jamie said as he popped the last bite of his spring roll in his mouth. He stood with a bunch of containers before leaning in, kissing my cheek. “We can have our hot tub date Friday after you get through your crazy and all the orders. I’ll make it a good Friday for you because you will be on the menu. Repeatedly. I’ll handle dinner too.”

I blinked after him and didn’t even know what to say until he was already out of the room. “You’re getting a bit too bold there, cheeky brat!”

He simply laughed.

“You’re blushing,” Colton chuckled.

“Shut up and eat,” I grumbled, sighing as I reached for a spring roll as well. “I’m too old to be this…” I didn’t even know the right word.

“How are things shaping up with the orders?” he asked after we ate a bit more. “The coffee cart asshole is long gone, so there’s no problem there. He called off the job of roughing up the food trucks.”

I nodded. “We’re in good shape. Dion’s system of people able to text in to set their location for pickup even if they’ve already ordered is a huge help. We didn’t have to redesign our whole ordering system before such a big holiday. The twins say it will be done before the Mother’s Day crazy.”

“Good, good. I heard a lot of good came out of the powwow Saturday besides Jamie’s mom getting people in line.”

I cleared my throat. “Yes, you gave a lot of people—”

“No, sorry, not me. I wasn’t trying to get you to—not me.” He waited until I looked at him. “I meant the groups wanting to do business with you. I heard one group said they’d do a factory just for petite fours and mini cake cute gifts. Something you could do but don’t now and there’s a market for.”

I sighed and nodded. “Yes, more want to do it and all now. And we found more truckers. There’s a lot. I think it’s time to do what we are better and fully what Costco will allow with their bigger reach. Giving more karma to America would be great, but there is a whole other world out there.”

“For sure,” he agreed. “Yeah, the balance and reach can be… I can’t even imagine. I think building your power should be the focus, and you can send your power through social media and other ways. Show up in a market and give away treats and no one knows it’s you. That can be done when you have less crazy.”

“We won’t have less crazy if always expanding.”

“But you won’t have more power grown,” he sighed. “Yeah, it’s exhausting.”

“How is your mom handling things? How are people treating her?”

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