Page 55 of Stolen Sin

I head downstairs as my father bangs around in the kitchen. I find him putting a pan on the stove, the burner clicking then whooshing to life. He’s got grilled cheese fixings on the counter. “I can make you one if you want,” he says, turning to me, and stops short, looking surprised.

“Hey, Dad,” I say, wishing this moment would end, maybe with my violent and sudden death. “Uh, this is my, uh?—”

“Hello, sir, we should officially meet. My name is Simon, and I’m your daughter’s husband.” Simon comes around me and offers Dad his hand.

Dad stares and shakes weakly, looking from Simon to me and back again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were visiting. It’s great to officially meet the famous Simon. I just hope I don’t have to get in your face again.”

Simon grins. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

Dad gestures at the spread. “You guys hungry?”

“No, we’re okay,” I say, speaking before Simon can accept. I nudge him away and turn to my father, a million thoughts rolling through my head, but the most obvious one is the loudest.

I never should’ve lied to him.

This whole secret extra money scheme came from a good place. I never wanted Dad to feel like a burden. It was bad enough, taking money from me, but taking it from a total stranger? Letting my random stranger husband financially care for him? I was trying to spare Dad’s already destroyed ego one more blow.

That was stupid. I should’ve just told him the truth from the start. Maybe he wouldn’t have liked it, and it would’ve hurt knowing his daughter married a stranger for him, but at least there wouldn’t be this terrible moment.

I take a long, deep breath, and decide to get it over with.

“Dad, I found that stuff in your closet, and you should know that the money wasn’t coming from the government. It was coming from me and Simon. I wanted to make sure you were taken care of, but I didn’t want you to feel like a burden, and so I cooked up this stupid, elaborate scheme, and I’m so sorry. I should’ve just told you from the start.”

He stares at me, his mouth hanging open, before turning to the stove and clicking it off. He doesn’t turn back right away, and instead stands with his back to us, and his shoulders start to shake. It kills me, watching him tense and shudder, and I think he’s crying?—

Until I hear the laughter.

That makes me stand up straight, confused as hell. Why is my dad laughing right now? I just told him that I lied to him and tried to reverse-scam him, and now he’s laughing like that’s funny? His only daughter betrayed his trust. He should be screaming at me.

Instead, he’s cracking up. He turns around and wipes his eyes, he’s laughing so hard, and holds his guts with one hand while holding the other in the air.

“You schemed me,” he says, barking it out between fits. “You really schemed me! And I found it!”

I stare at Simon, not sure what to do. I might have to get some sleeping pills to make him calm down or something, because it sure looks like he’s having a fit. But Dad’s howling with laughter, and Simon’s grinning too.

“Okay, seriously, Dad, why are you laughing? What the hell is happening right now?”

He groans and leans back against the counter, shaking his head with a massive grin. “Honey, I’m so pissed at you, but I was right. My god, I was right!” He throws his head back and howls, and I toss my hands in the air feeling absolutely disgusted.

“You really have gone insane. Simon, I hope you know a good psychiatrist, because we might need to institutionalize my father.”

Simon shrugs casually and stretches his legs. “Actually, it seems like your father is very, very lucid.”

“Bingo, totally lucid,” Dad says, snapping in the air. “Don’t you get it, sweetie? I thought I was losing my damn mind. I was terrified I was getting scammed again but the damn scam didn’t make any sense. They were sending me money instead of demanding it. I mean, what sort of backwards sonofabitch scammer sends money? I was going absolutely nuts trying to figure it out, and I was sure someone was trying to screw me, I just didn’t know how, until right now. I was right, I was getting scammed. Just by my own damn daughter!”

He cracks up again, bent double, and I check the stove just to make sure it’s not leaking gas. Simon’s grinning too, a delighted look on his face, and I’m just sick of this whole damn house. “You two are absolutely demented,” I say, even though part of me is happy that Dad doesn’t seem too pissed. I storm out of the room to give myself a little space while my father has a mental breakdown.

“No, honey, it’s okay,” Dad says, following me into the living room. “I’m just relieved. I was feeling really low for a while and thought maybe I was just a dumb rube, like anyone could just steal money from me and I’d go along with it, but this time I didn’t. I noticed things were strange and I was right. I think I get why you did it the way that you did, and I’m angry with you, but you gave me the chance to prove to myself that I’m no fool. I guess in some ways, I’m happy you did it.”

I shake my head, totally mystified, but I can see his reasoning. Last time, he only figured out the scam when it was way too late—and the scammers had all his money.

But this time, he saw through the tricks, didn’t trust a damn thing, and unraveled the entire mess.

“Gotta say, Mr. Hayes, that was some top-class detective work. The red string looks a little crazy, but you did a great job.” Simon stands in the doorway, arms crossed, looking smug and happy. “Not many people could’ve figured that mess out.”

“You went after the wrong paranoid old man,” Dad says, finally calming down. He sighs and rubs his face with both hands. “I’m mad at the two of you, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also grateful you did it.”

“Let’s call it even then,” Simon offers.

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