Page 24 of The Hookup Mix-up

Because of him. I hate giving him that control over me, but I can’t seem to help it. My mom is the only person in the world who knows I’m good with code and computers. I’ve thought about telling Ty, but I know he’ll push me to do something about it and to let his dad help me, and I don’t have that in me.

How can I, when I know he never really wanted me? Never cared enough to even have a secret relationship with me. The only reason he’s doing so now is because his secret is out in the open.

I sit at the desk in my room and work for a couple of hours, absolutely not checking my phone every little while to see if Theo texted.

When my phone rings, the screen lighting up with Mom, I answer the call. “How’s my favorite person in the world?”

“Such a charmer you are. Are you just as sweet to all the hes, shes, and theys you meet in California?” While I call myself bisexual, I could also use the label pan. I’m into anyone. I just like people and…well, sex. My attraction to others doesn’t really have boundaries, and Mom knows that.

“Of course I am.”

“Anyone serious?”

“Is there ever anyone serious?” I toss back.

“Perry…”

“And who are you dating again?” Mom hasn’t been serious about anyone my whole life. When I was young, I didn’t really get it, but as I got older, she just said she didn’t need anyone in her life other than me. I try to tell her she should date. She swears she’s not in love with Ty’s dad, but I hate the idea of her being alone, especially since I moved to California.

But as the silence grows, goose bumps spread across my skin. “Mom…do you have a boyfriend?” I fake-gasp.

She giggles, fucking giggles, which absolutely isn’t something I’ve ever heard my mom do when it comes to something like this. “Holy shit. Tell me everything about him. I need to meet him—and he better know that my mom deserves the best, and if he isn’t that, me and him are having words.”

“She,” Mom finally says, softly, like she’s unsure how I’ll take it.

“Go Mom! Are you coming out to me right now? This is incredible. I wish I were there to hug you. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” It’s not like she hasn’t known about me forever. There’s not a bigoted bone in her body, and she knows there’s not one in mine either.

“I didn’t know. I always thought I was straight, but I met her and…I don’t know. Everything clicked. It’s still new, so who knows if it will last. I just didn’t feel right about not sharing it with my favorite person in the world.”

My heart swells. She’s the best. I don’t understand how Ty’s dad could have ever hurt her the way he did. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“Now, tell me all about your girlfriend. What’s her name?”

“Samantha. She goes by Sam.”

I listen as Mom tells me about her. She sounds giddy, and that makes me giddy for her. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be surprised about Mom figuring out her sexuality later in life, but I’m not. No two people are the same, no two experiences either, and I do think sexuality can be a spectrum for some people. Some of us know—I always have—but some of us don’t, and that’s okay too.

We chat for about half an hour before I say, “Next time, I expect Sam to be there so I can meet her over a video call.”

Mom chuckles. “I’ll see what I can do.” She’s quiet for a moment, and I know what’s coming before she asks, “Have you spoken to your father at all yet?” He lives in Boston, but I think with my living with Ty, she thinks Ty’s dad and I have more of a chance to get to know each other now than we did when I lived there.

“Nope.”

“Okay. That’s your choice. You know I’ll always support you, but again, I need to make sure you’re not doing this for me. I have no expectations when it comes to whether or not you have a relationship with him. No one can make that choice but you, and I’ll support you no matter what you decide.”

I have no doubt, but… “I know, Mom. I just…can’t.”

“Okay, well, maybe you’ll change your mind one day.”

I don’t tell her that I know I won’t.

“I love you, Perry.”

“I love you too.”

We end the call, and I don’t even realize what I’m doing until after I hit Send.

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