Page 56 of The Hookup Mix-up

Theo’s head snaps up, gaze snagging on mine, eyes full of want and hope but also fear that makes me feel like the world’s biggest asshole.

“Like like? As in more than friends with benefits?”

My own fears tell me to say no, to shut this conversation down before I can get hurt, but I don’t have it in me to do that. “Yes. Sometimes it’s miserable, but most of the time it’s incredible.”

He chuckles. “Right? I feel the same. Mostly, though, the miserable part came in because I kept telling myself I didn’t feel what I feel.”

Guilt wreaks havoc on my insides. “I’m sorry I put you in that position. I don’t…I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to give you the opportunity to hurt me, but it’s also too late because I already have.” I hope that came out right, that he realizes that means there’s no turning back now. I like him, want to be with him, and there’s no changing that.

“I won’t hurt you. And even if this doesn’t work out, you’re worthy, and I’ll always want you in my life. I’ll always want you.”

Oh God. What hope do I have when he says things like that? When he makes my heart feel like it’s too big to fit inside my body?

“Come here.” I cup his face and pull him closer, press my lips to his.

The kiss is gentle, a little unsure on both sides. We’ve found a rhythm together the past couple of weeks, Theo more comfortable in being with a guy, in being with me. This time, a lot of the insecurity is coming from me. What if I fuck this up? What if Theo decides he doesn’t want me?

All that circles my brain, but then he reaches up, hand at my nape, tickling the skin there, and that helps. Being touched by Theo always helps. I lose my head, all those other thoughts hidden behind my lust as I deepen the kiss, push my tongue farther into his mouth, and damned if Theo doesn’t try to climb over the console to get on my lap.

“Ouch, shit,” he says, pulling back.

“I guess the car isn’t the best place for us to have had this discussion.”

“I’m glad we had it, though.” His cheeks flush red.

“Me too.”

“So does this mean you’re my boyfriend?”

Any second, I expect the warning bells to start going off inside me…only they don’t. There’s nothing but Theo’s eager smile and the taste of him on my tongue. “I…guess so?”

Thankfully, he chuckles. “Don’t sound too excited.”

“I am,” I admit, that truth settling in my bones. “My first boyfriend.”

“First?”

“I told you I don’t do this.” He grins smugly, and I add, “Don’t be too proud of yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I am. I can’t figure out why you chose me, but I’m happy you did.”

“It’s basically just because you’re a ten,” I tease, and he snickers.

“I thought I was a nine.”

“That’s before I knew you.”

My face gets hot, and Theo points at me. “Holy shit, you’re blushing. Normally I’m the one doing that. This is an exciting twist, and just so you know, if you’re okay with it, I don’t want to keep this a secret. I want everyone to know.”

Damned if I don’t want everyone to know too. “I’m game. Now let’s deliver some more food, and hopefully, we’ll have time for me to blow you before I go to work.”

“Sounds like the perfect night to me.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Theo

“Sooo…guess what?” I tell the guys as we’re sitting in the living room. I’m still riding the high from earlier in the car with Perry, him telling me he likes me and that we’re boyfriends. I’ve been a boyfriend, of course, but I’ve never had one. It’s already fucking awesome, and all we did was eat some Sour Patch Kids and blow each other.

---