Page 54 of The Hookup Mix-up

Stop that.

See? I’ve been thinking about him at the most random times lately. I literally spent time researching studying tips and shit like that. It’s wild and annoying, but…I want him to do well, want him to succeed because I know how important school is to him. We’ve been trading blowjobs for studying hours all week, which is going well for both of us. Things stick in his head better when I read them to him. The words seem to make more sense like that, and of course the sex is a bonus. A few times I’ve brushed his hole with my finger, and I think my little puppy is curious about ass play. He’s usually blowing his load with my finger drawing circles on his pucker.

My cell rings on the table beside me. Glancing that way, I feel my gut clench when I see Montgomery on the screen. I don’t know why I have his number, why I’ve even kept it or why I haven’t blocked it. He tried to call me in the beginning. All it took was a few times telling him I’m not interested for him to get the message. Now, he only tries to talk to me through Ty, which in my mind is all for show. If he really cared, would he have given up so easily?

“What do you want?” I ask into the cell, silently berating myself for answering. He doesn’t deserve for me to give him the time of day, not when he’s never really wanted me. Pretending he does now doesn’t count.

“Perry. Hello, son.”

My insides turn to ice and begin cracking and breaking. How many times had I wished to hear that from a father figure when I was young?

“Don’t call me that,” I snap.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I just… I’ve been speaking to my therapist and—”

“Oh, so that’s what this is about? Am I some exercise you were assigned? Talk to me so you can forgive yourself for the past or some shit? No thank you.” My chest is tight, and a quiet voice in my head that I’ve spent years trying to ignore, one that I wish wasn’t there, whispers, Why didn’t you want me?

“No, that’s not it at all! I talk to him a lot about you, about my regrets. I was wrong—not being in your life. That’s something I can never change, but I’m not going to stop trying to be a part of your future. You’re my son, and I love you. I know I haven’t done much of anything in your life for you to believe me, but—”

I end the call, unable to hear more, my hands shaking. Mom thought he loved her too, but he didn’t. I assume Ty’s mom did as well. He’d known where I was my whole life, and he never loved me enough to care before. I refuse to believe he does now.

The chair falls backward when I shove to my feet. I don’t pick it up, can’t keep still as I pace the room.

Fuck him. Who does he think he is? What makes him think he has the right to do this to me?

Why does it affect me so much?

I’m jittery, my brain racing. He’s never gotten to me so badly, so I’m not sure what’s going on, but I don’t like it at all. I think about calling my mom, but I don’t want to burden her with this. She’s felt enough misplaced guilt over my lifetime because of him. And it’s hard to talk to Ty about it either because it’s his dad. He’s been working on his relationship with Montgomery, and I know he wants me to do the same.

I grab my keys and cell, shove them in my pockets, and walk out.

Sitting in my car outside the house of the guy I’m sleeping with, while upset about my dad, isn’t something I ever saw myself doing. Like, what even is this? What do I expect Theo to be able to do about it? Orgasms help, so there’s that, but deep down I know that’s not why I’m here.

I’m here because he’s my friend…and I trust him…and talking to him makes things feel better.

“Ugh! I’m a fucking mess!” I rub my hand over my face, as if when I pull it down, I’ll be back in my bedroom.

That doesn’t happen, though. Nope. Instead, Theo pulled up without me noticing, and he’s walking toward my car with a confused frown on his lips.

For a moment, I consider driving off, but instead I plaster a smile on my face and roll the window down.

“Hey…is everything okay?” he asks, brows pinched together in concern.

“Yep, I was just going to…do some food delivery before work tonight and thought you might want to go.” Making extra money is always good, and Theo is good at distracting me, so really, it’s killing two birds with one stone.

“For sure.” He gives me his Goofy Theo smile, which is annoyingly contagious. I can’t help but do the same.

He tosses his bag in the back seat, then goes around to the passenger side and gets in, while I turn the app on. I take an order almost immediately. San Luco is a college town, and people our age eat a shit ton of fast food.

“How was class?” I ask as I drive to the first restaurant.

“Really good. I think our studying this week helped. I was like…like a fucking business ninja.”

I chuckle. “A business ninja?”

“If the shoe fits…”

“You wear that motherfucker.” Glancing his way, I wink, and he smiles at me again, making me go all soft. I don’t even know what that means or how to explain it, but that’s what it feels like.

---