Page 162 of Gift from the Stone

When he jabs out, I block with my forearm, then bring my knee up and into his stomach. He easily, effortlessly responds with a light elbow to my ribs, then wraps me up, about to flip me off my feet.

“Don’t leave your body open like that, Willow. Elbow to the neck, twist out,” Tillman yells from the sideline and I quickly do as I’m told. “Good, now step in with a jab, keep your distance.”

Adjusting my guard, I swing with a hook that he leans out of the way of but leans right into the cross I was following up with. Round and round we go, with Tillman yelling out instructions and Nikoli giving me time to adjust but also putting pressure on me, so I have to react fast.

Shoving away from one another, we take a split second to catch our breaths. I can tell by the way he’s lowering himself, he’s about to try to take me out at the knees. So I bounce on my toes, preparing to sidestep him the moment he gets close.

Just as he takes his first step, my vision blurs.

“Wait.” I try to shout, holding my hands up, but he’s already picking up momentum.

I don’t know if he was able to stop or not as my mind is sucked in by the sight.

I stand frozen in the center of chaos, the vision playing across my mind.

A vision I’ve already seen.

The one that’s haunted me since before we left for Terravile. The one I’ve tried to find a way to change, over and over. The one that I don’t know if they’ll forgive me for.

I beg and plead to see every scenario, every path, every consequence.

And fuck does it show me.

Fuck.

As the room begins to come back into focus, there’s a wall of people standing in front of me. Concern reflects back at me on the faces of my men, Oakly, and her Nexus. They’re all watching with weary eyes as panic seeps into my every being.

I’m still on my feet, so Nikoli was able to stop. And honestly, I wish he had rammed right into me, knocked me right the fuck out so maybe I could’ve avoided seeing what’s to come.

My taste buds erupt with salt, and I lick my already wet lips, knowing it’s the stain of my tears. I can’t stop their flow.

I can’t get air into my lungs.

I can’t focus. I can’t drown out the sounds, the voices in my mind. Not the voices of the people in the gym but the voices of my demons. The ones I’ve convinced myself I’ve defeated.

My chest feels like it’s cracking open, bleeding out on the floor.

The darkness is closing in around me.

“Primary,” Caspian says, taking a small step toward me.

“No.” I shake my head rapidly, tears slinging off my face, hitting the mat with an audible splash.

“Little wanderer, it’s okay,” Draken purrs.

My dragon feels his call, but she’s withering in my chest right along with me. We can’t embrace them right now. It’s too overwhelming. Too much to bear. We need a minute.

“I need a moment. I’ll be in Gaster’s office,” I whisper as the crushing pressure threatens to make my heart implode.

I transport myself out.

I fucking hate it. I hate the feeling, and I’m not even good enough to do it properly since I meant to transport to his office in the archives, but instead, I fall to my knees in the middle of his pocket dimension.

Surround me in a bubble. I command my air.

I take deep breaths as my element comes to my rescue, doing just as I asked, encasing me in my impenetrable shield. But this bubble isn’t for my protection.

Five…four…three…two…one…

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