Page 11 of Gift from the Stone

“I’ve never created a spell on my own before. You’ll have to walk me through step by step.” Hope breaks through the cracks of my skepticism.

I want badly for this to work.

“I will, child, but I must be completely clear with you before you decide to try this. The initial formation of a diversion spell is a highly emotional process. You begin by saying the opening lines of the spell, this will open your mind to your feelings, memories, experiences, and so on. Then you must think of the happiest moments of your life, the things that have brought you the most joy and love. These will be your diversions. The happy feelings must outweigh the fear, the nightmares, all the bad that plagues you.

“If you don’t feel those things strongly enough, then it will not work. Once you have those moments locked in, then you must think of the worst times of your life, the things that induce feelings of panic and fear. For your diversions to activate and take over, you’ll induce your own panic, Willow. Then and only then can your spell attach to your mind.”

My breathing becomes labored as sweat drips down my neck at just the thought of purposely sending myself down this rabbit hole. If my happy thoughts, the very few I hold dear, don’t outweigh my fear, I’ll have set off a chain reaction that I may or may not be able to get myself out of.

“Then what?”

“Then you will say, Divert. The spell will activate, and those feelings will cease. Moving forward, anytime you feel like you’re on the verge of a panic attack or becoming trapped in your mind, all you will have to think is Divert, and the spell will act on its own.” Gaster’s eyes hold a confidence in me that I don’t feel for myself right now.

What if it doesn’t work?

Taking a calm and centering breath, I think about the freedom I can have from the invisible chains Donald and my father still have locked around me. Especially now that I know they have access here. I feel at any point they’re going to pop up.

The panic attacks are crippling, and they slow my life down so much. I’m a shell of a person after they happen, and I find it hard to pull myself back up afterward. They leave me vulnerable in a way I don’t want to be. They leave me self-conscious to the point if it wasn’t for the bond, I wouldn’t want the guys to look at me.

My whole life I’ve had to live in survival mode. That was my purpose, survive this beating, survive this day, wake up tomorrow. Now I’m in a world full of magic, love, and wonder. I don’t want to live in survival mode. I want to live in my softness, my curiosity, my playfulness. I want to cuddle up on the laps of my men and not feel shameful for wanting that comfort. I want to be vulnerable with them, without the fear of getting crushed by my own doubt. I want to be their strength, not a weakness.

Decision made, I nod at Gaster.

“I want to do this, Gaster. I need to.”

“I’ll walk you through this the whole time. Always remember, Willow, everything you want to do and want to learn with your magic, your elements, even your gift when it emerges, you’ll be able to do when you set your intentions clear and firm. Our intentions are our driving force. Be mindful, be sure, and set your intentions on what you want to accomplish, and you will, child. I have no doubt,” he states confidently.

Just like when I stayed with him when I was avoiding the guys, he instructed me to stop fighting my air, let it flow freely, that it would guide me if I listened, it would become natural if I did. So I listened, and I listen now.

I will cast this spell.

I will divert these thoughts to better ones, happier ones.

I will heal.

“Close your eyes, call your magic forth, and repeat after me word for word in your mind, then think your happy thoughts as strongly as you can,” he instructs softly. My magic glows in my chest as soon as I think of it, obeying me completely with just a small thought.

“Heart’s whispers and dreams entwined. Show the matter that brings peace to mind.”

Heart’s whispers and dreams entwined. Show the matter that brings peace to mind.

My mind instantly begins replaying the things that have brought me the only joy and happiness I’ve ever known.

Draken introducing himself to me on my first night here, telling me even then that he was going to spend forever with me. My first ride on the back of his dragon, the freedom he gave me and continues to give me daily. The love I see in his eyes every time he looks at me. He’s my dragon and I’m his little wanderer.

The way Corentin was only told once how I liked my coffee and now, he fixes it for me every single morning without me asking. Although he hasn’t admitted it, I know my entire room was redecorated under his guidance. I told him my favorite color was purple, and he made sure to find the most beautiful purple things to fill my space with. It’s all the little things he does to show me he listens when I talk, and he remembers. Our first kiss, he was so soft and sweet with me after he just showed me his gift for the first time.

Tillman’s gentleness with me but also his fierce belief in me. I imagine the feeling of being wrapped in his large embrace and know in his arms nothing will ever touch me. Him telling me he will love me more than he fears losing me. His treehouse…his willingness to share his space with me just for me to have an escape.

And Caspian… Caspian’s my silent protector. The dark and damaged ghost that watches me from the shadows to keep me safe. He’ll fight my demons for me.

I think of every bright moment they’ve brought into my life since meeting them. Even before knowing the truth of what they’d come to mean to me, they were already changing my life for the better.

I nod slightly, letting Gaster know I have the memories.

“Echoes of the past, shadows of time. Bring forth the memories that haunt my mind.”

Echoes of the past, shadows of time. Bring forth the memories that haunt my mind.

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