Page 48 of Gift from the Tree

I sit down on the side and let my feet dangle in the water. It feels amazing, not too cold nor too hot. It has to be regulated somehow because even though it’s only springtime, it isn’t nearly hot enough outside for the pool to be this temperature.

Draken pops up quickly, splashing water all over me, making me squeal. “Come on in, little wanderer, it’s perfect in here.”

“Maybe another time. I’m enjoying my view.” I give him a flirty smile, hiding my fear.

“The view is much better in here,” he promises as he pushes himself up on the edge, boxing me in with his arms. But when he slides his hands down to my legs like he’s going to pull me in, I stiffen.

“Draken, I can’t,” I whisper, tears instantly filling my eyes.

The night before my birthday flashed in my mind. I can’t hear, can’t breathe, can’t see, and I feel the freezing water engulfing me. I can’t believe it’s only been a week since Donald almost drowned me. It seems like a lifetime ago now, but the fear is still too real.

“Hey, whatever it is, it’s okay. I’m right here. Nothing’s going to happen to you.” Draken’s wet hands grip my face, and a wet forehead touches mine as he whispers sweet words until my breathing evens out again, and my tears slow down.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. What caused it?” he asks like he understands something triggered the panic attack.

“I thought you were going to pull me in,” I whisper, full of embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me.” He tilts my chin up, forcing my eyes to meet his. “There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. I just need you to explain it to me a little, so I know what not to do again.”

Taking a deep breath, I hold it for a few seconds before releasing it. “He almost drowned me, the night before my birthday.”

“He?” Draken’s hands tense against my cheeks for a second, then he relaxes them again.

“Donald, the monster my father married me off too. He almost drowned me in the freezing pool the night before I came here,” I choke out through my tears. I can feel Draken’s growl through every inch of my body. He’s shaking with anger. It’s a reaction I’m not used to receiving on my behalf, but I’m thankful to have him in my corner right now.

“Little wanderer,” he breathes.

“I’m not ready to talk about it. Not today.”

I’ll be honest with him one day about what I’ve been through. But not today.

After a moment of focusing on Draken’s breathing rather than my own, I feel settled. It usually takes a long time for me to get myself out of a panic, but I was always alone then. Gaster, Corentin, and Draken have all reeled me back into reality and out of the memories or whatever set me off.

“Let’s go get ready for dinner,” Draken says as he gets himself out of the pool, grabbing a towel from the bin.

I know he said there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but I can’t help it. My panic attacks make me feel so weak and helpless. I don’t want to be trapped in the nightmares my mind likes to remind me of.

Clearing my throat, I speak low as Draken laces our fingers, steering us toward the house. “Please don’t tell the others.”

“They’d all understand,” he says sullenly.

“I highly doubt that. It makes me weak.”

He suddenly stops walking, wearing a serious expression, one I’ve never seen on him. “It doesn’t make you weak. They’d understand. I promise they would. I know they’ve all been assholes to you since you got here, but we’ve all been through shit that haunts us. They’d understand.”

“Like what?” I can’t help but ask.

He shakes his head and starts walking again. “Those aren’t my stories to tell, kitten.”

“What about your story then?”

“One day, but not today,” he says with a sad, faraway tone in his words.

Great, now I’ve caused him to feel like shit too.

“Thank you for today. Not only for what just happened, but for everything you’ve done today.” I want to put a smile back on his face. Why it bothers me so much when Draken isn’t his happy-go-lucky self, I don’t know, but it feels like a need that I have to make it better for him.

---