Page 75 of All In

Dating sucks nowadays.

Guys play games and cheat.

They don’t call back or answer texts.

They leave you on read for days on end.

He said we would talk more about the future tonight when we cuddle in bed, and it’s strangely sweet.

Oh, fuck.

Are my impulses trying to give me Stockholm syndrome? And if so, couldn’t they have made that point before I went traipsing out in the rain?

My head falls back as I look up at the tree branches and, eventually, the night sky.

Cool rain drips all over my face as I curse.

I’m losing it.

No.

I’m having a panic attack.

There’s pressure in my chest, and based on my racing thoughts that don’t make much sense…

I’m acting irrationally, and everything is affecting me more deeply than it should. If I was back home, I’d take my anxiety medication and try to nest until it kicked in.

Only, I don’t have that, either, because I literally had to leave everything in my life behind.

“Damn, woman.” Tanner’s voice makes me jump as he grabs my wrist, spinning me to face him. “You’re hauling ass. You must be mighty pissed.”

Water drips from the blondish-brown hair falling over his forehead, and a drop lands on my nose as I stare up at him in the low light.

“I think I’m losing it, Tanner,” I whisper as his thumb runs over my inner wrist.

“What?” He studies my face. “Nah, you’ve been through hell. I’m honestly surprised it took you a full twenty-four hours to try to make a break for it.”

“I ran out of Ranger’s house into the rain in the middle of the night. It feels like there’s a boulder on my chest that I can’t escape, and it only gets worse the farther I run.”

He keeps hold of my wrist and brings his other hand to cup my cheek. “You were ripped away from your home and your normal life, spent the better part of a week as a prisoner to some pretty terrible people who were a genuine threat to your safety, and now you’re adjusting to a completely different atmosphere.” He runs his thumb under the scratch on my cheek. “Give yourself a little grace.”

“Everything feels out of control.” My head shakes and water flings from the dripping ends of my hair. “Back home, I have a job and my own apartment. I take care of myself, you know? And everything I’ve built is just…” My shoulders bounce as I search for the right word. “Gone. And I am thankful that you guys rescued me, but I’m still so bitter it was necessary in the first place. I feel like a complete mess.”

He moves a hand to my lower back, pulling me into his chest. “You’re allowed to freak out and be pissed at how everything went down. Hell, if you want to scream and rage at the night sky, I’ll do it with you.” His hand moves from my cheek to the back of my head. “No matter how brave you are, that shit has to manifest at some point.”

Rain streams down my face as I stare up into his blue eyes. It’s so dark that they almost seem black in the low light.

“I don’t like feeling out of control,” I admit. “My sister has always been carefree. She does her own thing, and she never minded if it led her to trouble. But I like my life boring and predictable. It helps me feel safe. The world is already dangerous enough for unbonded omegas…” A heavy breath shudders out, making my shoulders shake. “My anxiety is out of control.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I can tell. I think some of it is a delayed response to what happened. How about I carry you inside and we take a hot bath?”

I bite my lip, trying to hold back from sounding awful, but it all spews out, anyway. “I hate that his house smells like Kate. My instincts have been on edge all day. It’s like I can’t settle in and truly relax because it feels like she’s a threat. I’ve never experienced anything like it, and rationally, I understand that it doesn’t make sense, but I don’t know how to make it stop.”

“Actually, it does make sense.” Tanner wraps his forearm around my ass and lifts me into his chest. “We may like to think we’re civilized, but alphas and omegas are ruled by our instincts. You’ve got a heat coming up, and you and Ranger are highly compatible. He invited you into a home that smelled like another unbonded omega. That would be enough to set off any omega.”

I nod, snuggling closer to his wet T-shirt. When he says it that way, it helps me feel less like a terrible person, which is something I’ve been battling since I got here.

“I don’t think he did it purposely, though.”

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