Page 73 of Manacled Hearts

I know she hasn’t attempted to drown her pain in drugs again. I told Maddox to ensure there are eyes on her. I couldn’t do it myself. I couldn’t let myself be in her proximity or know where she was… it was too hard. Too tempting.

That resistance broke into a million pieces the moment I realized that Bartiste is the man responsible for her abduction. The possessiveness I feel over her tears through my restraints as I’m finally realizing that the asshole could’ve taken her from me before I even made her mine.

He can’t have her.

Not her as well.

I won’t allow it.

I can’t fail her too.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out.

Confusion breaks through the pain in her eyes, and she cocks her head as she attempts to understand what I’m apologizing for.

“Okay… why did you insist that you would be the one to speak with me?”

Oh. That’s not why I was apologizing, but it’s a good enough reason. The dam may have broken but admitting it to her is a whole different thing. Admitting it to myself out loud is even harder.

“Sit down. Please,” I add that final word after a brief pause, trying to deter from the blatant order.

She narrows her eyes for a split moment, then shakes her head ever so slightly, before she looks around herself, and walks to the edge of the bed, but doesn’t sit.

“You’re wasting your time if you want to talk about that night. I have no more useful info to give you,” she says before I can ask the question.

“Knowing what we know now, any detail, even the ones you already told us, might mean something else entirely. We know Bartiste. Or at least we knew him… we’re looking at what happened to you, to the children, with fresh eyes now.”

She sighs, averting her eyes. I can tell her mind is wandering, falling into a memory she doesn’t want to be in. I fucking hate myself for pushing her in it, but if anyone’s going to do it, it has to be me. I hope Madds isn’t going to ask me for justification as to why exactly that is. The only answer I have is not one I want to share with him, or the others. Not yet anyway. I must be the one to comfort her, to protect her… to take on her pain.

“Will you tell me?” She lets the incomplete question flow in the heavy atmosphere before she turns her attention to me. “Will you tell me what he did to you?”

Three rapid blinks it took to fully register what she’s asking. Why does it sound like she knows something already?

“Did that bastard, Severin, fucking tell you?” I snap, unable to rein in my temper. The anxiety and adrenaline are a nasty combination.

She frowns and her lips part for a moment before she presses them into a hard line, debating something. Maybe a lie. Maybe a secret.

“He didn’t.”

I’m not sure I believe her.

“What do you know?”

“That he’s the reason why you’ve learned that pain deals more damage on the inside than out. There’s a reason why they say eyes are the mirror to the soul… yours have that broken quality I’m all too familiar with.”

I say nothing to that. There are no words that could deter her from this conclusion. There’s no hiding. No point in it.

“Will you tell me?” she asks again, her voice softer.

I flinch when she takes a step my way.

We’re in here because I wanted to soothe her, protect her, and get her to talk to me about what happened to her. She flipped the coin, and I’m dreading this side of it.

It’s not how this is supposed to go.

“Perhaps someday,” I finally answer, though I don’t understand why I’m giving her hope.

She stops moving, cocking her head and pulling my gaze to hers.

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