* * *
This time around I actually woke up in the morning. Not that I slept much after the events of last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, my interaction with Finnigan did something to me I didn’t expect. It calmed the itch, and I think I hate him more for it.
What bothers me more, though, is the fact that I am not more affected by the murder I witnessed. Until I drifted off to sleep, I replayed it in my head. I woke up expecting to be completely torn up, traumatized. None of that happened.
You know why, Evelyn, but admitting it means swallowing your pride and accepting more than you’re ready to.
That incessant voice speaks in my head yet again. The dark side of my consciousness.
You don’t care…
I care. I do!
You didn’t care back then either…
I’m losing my damn mind!
I pull a cardigan over the tank top and jeans, and walk out of the bedroom, straight to where Maya is sitting at the dining room table, eating her breakfast.
I need coffee. I need to get out.
“Maya, want to go for a walk?” I ask her as she pushes the empty bowl away from her.
“Umm… yeah, sure. Can we go to the park?”
“We can. Are you okay? You don’t seem that keen,” I ask.
She nods. “It’s just that… not sleeping in the same bed has been strange,” she says in her sweet little voice, and it pulls at my heartstrings.
My lovely, sweet girl. I thought she would enjoy having a bed all to herself, finally. Although that’s not the reason why I did it. I’m terrified that I’ll become even more vocal during my nightmares, and she’ll hear something she shouldn’t. I don’t want to traumatize her, especially if I say something about what happened to me after we were separated in that warehouse. So, I make it up like I’m going to bed later, wait until she falls asleep, and then settle for the night on the sofa. It’s safer.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. But I can keep you company until you fall asleep, how about that?”
“Yes, please!” Her eyes light up and that little bit of happiness I gave her warms me.
I did that. I put that smile on her face. There may be some hope for me after all.
“Katya came last night when you were gone. I like her. She came and kissed my forehead, Evie. Can you believe that?!”
I almost can’t, no. Yet, from the way she looked at me when I came back last night, I can understand it. She stood in the middle of the open space living area, arms crossed tight against her chest, and no word at all fell out of her mouth. Her stern eyes and tightly pursed lips were making me feel horrible enough, even a bit afraid, but the disappointment was the one tearing through my soul. Yet another person I disappointed, all in one night.
“That was very nice of her. Now, go on, get your shoes on and we’ll leave,” I urge my sister.
She climbs off the chair and rushes to the hallway as I follow, pulling my own shoes on. When Jay shows up in the corridor outside the apartment, he insists on coming with us. I assure him we’re only going to the park next door, but he’s having none of it. Only after I text Maddox and tell him I’m going out with Maya, alone, does he finally relent. I’m not a prisoner. I know they’re doing this for my safety, I’m sort of happy someone cares, but it’s annoying, nonetheless.
“Oh, wait.” Maya tugs her hand out of mine as we walk through the ground floor lobby of the apartment building toward the exit. “Need to retie my laces.”
I turn to her but pull my phone out to look on the maps for a coffee stand in the park. I’m engrossed in the search, when the elevator dings and only moments later a chill runs down my spine.
“Finnigan!” Maya calls out excitedly, and I swear, the blood freezes in my veins.
I turn, ready to berate the man for daring to follow me yet again, but what I find instead leaves me speechless, mouth slightly agape. The doors of the private elevator I’ve never been on close behind him, and attached to him is a gorgeous, tall, platinum-haired woman with enviable curves she sways as she walks in my direction. No, not my direction, the exit.
The woman is all over him. He doesn’t react to her touch, his gaze fixed on me, but he doesn’t push her away either. I’m nervously scratching the edge of the phone case, acknowledging silently that it’s ten in the morning. There’s only one reason why he would be leaving her place at this time in the morning—he’s sleeping with her.
Here… in the same damn building I live in.