Page 34 of Surrender

I scoffed. “You really don’t know?”

“I mean, we can talk about you marrying a stranger. We can talk about how you let said stranger speak to us. Where do you want to start?”

“Jacob wasn’t wrong for what he said or how he said it. He was as respectful as possible. Not only that, he said what I wish I could have.”

Both of their eyes widened.

“Oh really?” my father asked.

“Yes, Daddy. Do you realize how hurt I was? It was my wedding day. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life?—”

“How happy can you be marrying a man you don’t know!” he bellowed. “Why is it so hard for you to understand why we don’t want this for you? You are making a big mistake. There is still time to annul this foolish arrangement and act like it never happened.”

“Daddy, I’m not annulling my marriage.”

“Marriage, my ass! This is a sham! A joke. A mockery! You think this is gonna last? You married a complete stranger. What part of that is normal to you? It screams desperation.”

I looked at him with hurt in my eyes. “You think I’m desperate?”

“What else would possess you to enter an arranged marriage?”

“What’s so wrong about that? It’s done in so many cultures, and nobody bats an eye. I’m sure somewhere in our family tree, one of our relatives were set to marry someone they didn’t know and probably didn’t like. I like Jacob. He’s sweet, caring, and affectionate. He’s respectful and thoughtful. Those are just a few things I’ve already discovered about him?—”

“Ha! Of course, he wouldn’t show his hand right away. That’s how they get you.”

“Nobody is out to get me! This was our decision. We have to live with it, and we made the decision knowing that we would have to live with it. I don’t need your permission. All I wanted was your support. You all left me out to dry. I had to spend my wedding day getting ready alone. Do you know how that hurt me? Do you know how many times I’ve dreamed of you giving me away, Daddy? Do you know how many times I dreamed of having you and Ebony plan my wedding with me, Mama?”

My mother swiped a tear from her eye. She looked at me with disappointment and regret. She put her things aside and came to sit beside me. When she grabbed my hands, I snatched them back. That looked like it hurt, but fuck that. I was hurt, too. She sighed heavily before she spoke.

“We wanted you to find love… real love before you made such a serious commitment. I won’t say this young man isn’t a good man. I won’t say that he can’t love you. All I’m saying is that this isn’t the way a marriage is built. There was no… structure, no foundation. There was no time spent together. At the end of the day, you bought your marriage. You skipped all the steps to knowing what you’re getting beforehand. I don’t care about the success rate of this Arranged Hearts place. For all we know, the numbers could be fabricated, and the testimonials could be fake. The last thing we want is to see you get hurt. I’d rather see you hurt for a day because you were disappointed than a lifetime because you married a man who didn’t deserve you.”

I shook my head and stood.

“I see we are never going to agree on this.”

I made my way toward the front door. My hand lingered on the knob. Slowly, I turned back to them.

“I love you both, but this is my life, my future, and my happiness. Until you can respect my decision to be in this marriage, maybe it’s best if I keep my distance.”

My father frowned. “So you’re choosing him over us? That’s what you’re saying.”

“No, Daddy. I’m choosing me.”

Without another word, I left the house and climbed back into Jacob’s car. I managed to hold it together until I got back to my apartment. When I pulled in and saw my husband getting out of his sister’s car, I knew his visit probably went like mine. The moment he pulled my door open and pulled me out, I fell into his arms, and the dam broke. He didn’t ask any questions. He didn’t say anything. He just held me until I got it out.

“I got you,” he whispered, kissing my temple. “If it has to be us against the world, I got you.”

He said goodbye to Jessa and led me into my apartment. Once inside, he sat on the couch and pulled me onto his lap, cradling me like a baby. For the longest time, he simply held me and rubbed my back in a comforting manner. When my tears finally subsided, he tilted my chin so that my eyes met his.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked.

I shook my head no. “It’s nothing to talk about. They feel how they feel, and we just aren’t going to agree on this.”

“I know the feeling. Who would have thought looking for your own happiness would lead to a separation of family? Shit’s crazy.”

It was crazy as hell. I loved and respected my parents. I thought they had a beautiful marriage. My father didn’t know it, but I discovered that Jacob had so many qualities that reminded me of him. I thought the world of my father. Before all this came about, I was a big daddy’s girl. He’d always been my hero and one of my best friends.

He was the blueprint for how a man should treat me. He’d laid so many points of chivalry to us time and time again on things a man should be doing for his lady. He should always walk with me on the inside. He should open doors and pull out chairs. He should be respectful and well-mannered. There were so many things. Not only did he tell us, but he showed us. He said he wanted us to have standards and know that we didn’t have to accept any old thing from a man.

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