Page 99 of The Home Game

“I accept the apology and yeah, it did seem to work,” Antoni agreed. “I just want you to understand what a difficult position you put both of us in.”

Antoni was still holding his hand and it made Matty’s chest warm. He liked that they were dealing with this together.

“But, Alexis, you might be right about the marriage,” Antoni said slowly.

“Really?” She glanced up.

Antoni turned to Matty with a conflicted expression on his face. “I feel like I shouldn’t ask but …”

“Hey,” Matty said, his tone soft as he squeezed Antoni’s hand reassuringly. “I meant what I said earlier. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you’re all safe and happy. And if that means getting married to protect the kids, let’s get married.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

The following Friday afternoon, as Antoni dressed in his best suit—the deep charcoal one he’d worn to Bethany and Corey’s funeral, he realized with a wince—he wondered what the hell he was doing.

Was he really marrying someone he wasn’t in love with?

Antoni liked Matty. He liked him a lot. He was fond of him, attracted to him … but he didn’t love him.

And when Antoni had pictured getting married, he’d thought it would be because he was madly in love with a guy and could imagine growing old with him.

But this was about as far from that as he could get.

Antoni’s stomach felt achy and there was a jittery energy coursing through him at the thought of saying ‘I Do’ today.

He stared at himself in the mirror as he knotted his tie, his fingers trembling. He fumbled the double Windsor knot, then ripped the fabric away, throwing it onto his dresser.

Matty’s dresser.

Their dresser, after today.

They’d both agreed that part of making this look real was sharing the bedroom.

And it made sense but God, this was weird. This felt so strange and surreal and Antoni kept expecting to wake up and snap out of this dream but it was really truly happening. He was marrying Matt Carlson and they were going to raise the kids together and …

Antoni reached for the tie, trying to knot it again, and spotted a stain on it. He closed his eyes, remembering how fussy Reese had been during the funeral service. How he’d fed him a bottle as he stared at the two urns holding Bethany’s and Corey’s ashes, desperately trying to hold it together for the children.

Antoni hadn’t cried that day. Hadn’t really cried since, not about their deaths, anyway. He wondered when it would hit. Maybe it never would. Maybe he’d go around for the rest of his life feeling hollow and scooped out every time he thought of them.

“Beth? Corey? Am I doing the right thing?” he whispered.

But although there was no answer, Corey had always told him he needed to trust his gut instead of overthinking everything.

And Antoni knew deep in his gut that he had to do everything he could to protect the kids. He couldn’t … he couldn’t let Bill and Robin Swanson harm a hair on any of the kids’ heads. He couldn’t let his friends down.

He was getting married today.

He needed to get dressed and get the kids ready and go to city hall.

But when Antoni went to find another tie, he hated every single one of them.

So he crossed the backyard and knocked on the door of the guest house.

Matty pulled it open with a smile, joking, “Hey, I don’t think we’re supposed to see each other before the wedding.”

Antoni managed a wan smile in return. “Not sure that really applies in our case.”

Matty’s expression fell. “No, maybe not.”

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