Page 77 of The Home Game

Matty searched Antoni’s face, taking in the little frown wrinkling his forehead and the anguished expression in his eyes.

“Okay.” Matty eased back and leaned against the counter beside Antoni, their shoulders pressed together. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have …”

“No, don’t be sorry. I really do want it. Want you. But I have to think of the kids.” Antoni let out a nervous little laugh. “And, uh, I thought you were straight until the other night.”

“Not so much.” Matty reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. “I—I’ve never dated a guy before but um, my ex-wife and I … we had a threesome with a man.”

“No way,” Antoni whispered. “All that stuff online is true?”

“I mean, probably not all of it,” Matty said, horrified by the thought. They came up with the weirdest ideas. “It never, um, went super far with the guy. We both fucked her and at one point, swords uh, kinda crossed. She was pretty into it for a while and we, um, gave each other handjobs but when we kissed, she got super weird about it and it all kinda turned into a mess after that.”

Antoni frowned. “Oh wow. I’m sorry. That sounds awful.”

“Yeah. Uhh, it’s kinda why the marriage ended, to be honest. When we talked about it after, she freaked out when I said I thought I might be bi or whatever.”

That night wasn’t the first time Matty had thought about a guy. There had been a few over the years. Friends who became something more, who opened his eyes in a way that he hadn’t expected.

He’d just never done anything physical with them.

Truthfully, there had been more men he’d felt that way about than women but he’d always kinda chalked it up to spending so much time with guys on his team. He didn’t have the same chances to get to know women.

“She left you because you admitted you were bi?” Antoni sounded horrified.

“Pretty much.” Matty winced, looking down at the floor. “She said she couldn’t see me the same way anymore. She liked men and I … to her, I wasn’t really a man anymore.”

“What the fuck?” Antoni said. “What … that’s … Oh my God that makes me angry.”

Matty shrugged, glancing up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Antoni studied his face. “That was incredibly shitty of her.”

“I guess.”

“No, it was. You were being honest and up front with someone you loved. She should have been kinder to you about it.”

“Probably.” Matty sighed. “But she wasn’t, so …”

“No, Matty.” Antoni placed his palm against his chest. “She was cruel and a bigot.”

“It was how she felt.” Matty shrugged.

“Yeah, but even if we ignore how fucked up and biphobic and all that other crap, and accept that her feelings for you legitimately changed, there were so many better ways that she could have told you that. Yet she somehow picked the shittiest one. You know that, right? That you deserve to be treated better?”

Matty nodded. “It was kinda always like that though. She, um, sort of treated me like I was just there to make her happy. And I mean, I loved making her happy, but it never really went both ways.”

Antoni’s face went all soft and worried. “Matty …”

“Why does everyone look at me like that when I tell them that?”

“Because you are the most incredible man and you deserve someone who sees that and appreciates you for it.”

“I’d really like that,” Matty whispered.

“I’d really like that guy to be me,” Antoni said. “I just … I’m worried about things getting complicated. You’re my landlord, technically.”

Matty winced. “I thought we were at least friends.”

“We are!” Antoni said. “We definitely are. But I have to think of the kids. I can’t do anything to jeopardize the progress they’re making. They love being here. They love having you around. But what if … what if it doesn’t work out between us? They’d lose having you in their lives and—”

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