Page 154 of The Home Game

And a short while later, as Antoni wrapped his arms around a furnace-hot, still-sweaty Matty, Antoni kissed him deeply and thought, I am happy.

And he didn’t know if the jolt that went through him at the thought was because he was afraid the happiness might end or because there was a chance it wouldn’t.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

The following Thursday, as Matty boarded the team flight out of Toronto, he felt the urge to turn around and drive back home. He’d never felt that before, had always looked forward to the time with the boys.

Even when he was married to Courtney, he hadn’t minded being away from her. That probably said more about how unhappy they’d been for most of the marriage than anything else, though he hadn’t realized it at the time. But while he’d definitely missed sex and the feel of his wife sleeping beside him, he hadn’t felt like he was leaving his whole heart behind him when left her.

Now there were five people he was flying away from. Five hearts he left behind.

Or maybe his heart felt five times bigger.

Whatever it was, Matty missed Reese’s soft breathing against his neck as they napped on the couch and the way River’s tiny hand disappeared into his when she reached out to pull him toward the swings, begging for, “More pushes, Matty!”

He missed the sight of Eli with their nose buried in a book, suddenly lifting their head to join the conversation around them with something funny and clever to say.

He missed Alexis’ snark and the way she’d broken down the plays in his previous game over dinner, calling Matty out on his bad positioning.

And Antoni … God, Matty missed him so much.

He missed the bright light in Antoni’s eyes and that soft, husky laugh of his that came so much more easily now.

Matty missed the way Antoni’s dark curls fell into his eyes and the soft scratch of his pen as he graded papers. He missed the smooth skin of Antoni’s shoulders, the definition of the muscles of his arms. He missed the way Antoni’s mouth tasted and the sounds he made when he came.

With a dejected sigh, Matty stowed his bag in an overhead compartment, then ambled to his seat at the games table next to Dustin and across from Jordan and Dom.

Takeoff was uneventful and as the flight attendant cleared away their plates following their dinner, Matty thumbed through his earlier text messages from Antoni, thinking about the way his kiss had felt almost desperate as he said goodbye.

Matty brought up the photos of their wedding, smiling at the sight of them together on the steps of city hall. He’d been so caught up in the moment he hadn’t realized how he looked at Antoni, his eyes shining with … with love.

It felt like love anyway.

Matty had been thinking about it since the game last weekend and if anything, the feeling had only gotten stronger.

He hadn’t said anything to Antoni yet though. It seemed too soon and there were too many other important things to worry about like the custody trial and the regular season getting underway.

Matty would wait until everything settled down a little, but being so sure of how he felt was like a warm glow he carried in his chest wherever he went.

And he tried to ignore the flicker of fear that the distance would make Antoni resentful of his career. Matty had promised to be there for him and the kids and he was trying to do it all but it would be harder now.

Sure, the money helped but Matty wasn’t there to help out anymore. What if the shine wore off in a few months and Antoni decided it wasn’t worth it anymore?

“Hey. You doing okay there, Matty?” Dustin asked with a lift of his eyebrow. “You’ve been sighing an awful lot tonight.”

Matty shrugged. “Meh. Missing my family already.”

“Your family, huh?” Dustin said, so lowly that none of the rookies or guys new to the team who sat around them would hear.

Matty nodded. “I want them to be. I … God, I really do. Permanently, you know?”

Dustin reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “Well, for what it’s worth, Antoni seems pretty crazy about you too.”

“You think so?” Matty swallowed thickly. He hoped so. He thought he’d seen signs of that lately but he couldn’t be sure.

Was Antoni happy with him or happy that his life wasn’t such a struggle now?

“Yeah. Give him time,” Dustin said, shifting in his seat. “He lost his best friends. He might not be ready to open up to getting close to people again and really letting himself trust that they’ll stick around. But it doesn’t mean he won’t get there. Or isn’t already slowly getting there without realizing it.”

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