Page 60 of The Home Game

You might. Matty let out a shaky breath as it hit him what he’d thought. What he kept feeling.

He was … he was feeling things for Antoni. More than friendship.

It always started with friendship for Matty though. He liked to get to know someone, learn who they were. And he’d had tons of friendships that had never gone beyond that.

But the people he was attracted to … yeah, he needed that connection first.

For most of Matty’s life, he’d felt like he was missing something everyone else had. Like something in him was broken or off. But a few years ago, after Zane Murphy came out, there had been a big article about his relationship with his winger, Ryan Hartinger.

Matty had been super happy for them and a little bit envious but it was the part where Zane had talked about being demisexual that had hit hard for Matty. Made him realize he wasn’t alone. That maybe he wasn’t exactly like everyone else but that didn’t mean there was anything wrong with him.

It had given him hope that he could find his person, the way Murphy had found his Hartinger.

So Matty got it now, got why he was so slow to be turned on by someone, why he needed that connection and friendship first before he felt any spark of attraction.

Those lines were beginning to blur with Antoni now.

It had confused Matty at first because this seemed so fast.

It usually took months for him to get to that level, where he felt his belly go tight and his skin tingle when he touched someone. Where it went from happiness to see them to wanting to be with them.

Matty was a hugger and a cuddler with everyone. He liked to snuggle up on a hotel room bed, shoulder-to-shoulder with a teammate while they watched movies. He liked long, lingering hugs with friends and teammates.

Baby snuggles were his favorite.

But it was rare that Matty looked at anyone—man or woman—and thought, I want to hold you close. I want to touch you and kiss you and …

But he could feel that need growing in him every time he was around Antoni.

It seemed too soon. So much sooner than it had ever been with anyone before.

But the more Matty thought about it, the more sense it made.

How could he not feel a connection to Antoni?

Sure, they hadn’t known each other long but it had been intense.

They hadn’t started out with small talk about movies and video games and hockey; they’d started out talking about Antoni’s fears and worries about losing custody of the kids. And Matty had shared some of his own feelings.

Antoni had listened and been sympathetic and kind. Like someone Matty could be really honest with.

So different from Courtney—who’d made him feel stupid and like less of a man for talking about his feelings.

Matty probably wasn’t a very deep guy. He’d heard that enough times in his life, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want that with someone.

He saw the way Macky and Elena were together. The deep love Dustin and Charlie had. He knew what his parents were like and his sisters and their husbands.

At first, he’d talked himself into believing Courtney was someone she wasn’t. Someone he was genuinely in love with and attracted to.

He’d ignored the wrong, wrong, wrong feeling in his head and tried to push through it. Tried to be the typical guy who wanted to fuck the pretty girl and marry her and have kids with her, even though she wasn’t nice. Or kind. She didn’t understand him. She didn’t accept him.

It hadn’t taken long after their marriage to see she was nothing like what he’d hoped.

And their sex life had suffered for it.

She didn’t make him feel the things he thought he could feel for Antoni.

And no, that didn’t mean he wanted to throw Antoni down on the couch and fuck him right this second, but yeah, a kiss … Matty was starting to wonder what Antoni’s lips would feel like against his.

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