Matty thought maybe Antoni would be fine with sex.
He’d said no before because he was worried about the kids getting hurt. But marriage was a pretty fucking solid commitment and by now, he should trust that even if Matty and Antoni got to a point where they couldn’t stand to speak to each other—which seemed crazy, but hey, he’d been there once before—Matty would still be there for the kids.
But Antoni hadn’t brought it up and Matty hadn’t wanted to come across like a jerk by pushing. He didn’t want Antoni to think that the only way he’d agree to this wedding was if they were having sex.
Matty would marry Antoni to protect Eli and the other kids even if it meant being celibate for the rest of his life. But that didn’t mean he didn’t want Antoni. It didn’t mean he didn’t think about touching him, kissing him, learning what sounds he made when Matty got his hands on him …
“Okay, who’s ready for a wedding?” Dave said cheerfully and, light-headed from desire, Matty squeezed Antoni’s arms and stepped away.
Eli made a disappointed noise and Matty walked over and put an arm around them. “It’s okay. You can do some more after the ceremony, okay?”
“Okay,” Eli said with a sigh. “Here’s your phone back.”
Matty waved it off. “Actually, no. If you want, you should use it for pictures during the ceremony. The passcode is 2311. My first jersey number and my current one.”
“Cool!”
Alexis frowned. “That’s not secure. Anyone could guess it.”
But before Matty could sheepishly agree, she announced, “I’m taking videos with Aunt Eliza’s phone. You do still photos, Eli.”
“Okay,” they said happily.
“Gotta go. I think they need me for this part,” Matty said in a loud whisper.
The kids giggled as Matty joined Dave and Antoni who waited patiently for him.
Dave ran through the plan for the ceremony, then indicated where to stand.
“Whenever you’re ready, please proceed.” He gestured to a curved wall with two low columns that held some pretty white flowers. Jonah would know what they were but Matty didn’t have a clue.
A strange feeling washed over Matty as he took his spot and reached out to grasp Antoni’s hands. Antoni sucked in a sharp, short inhale as if surprised by the touch.
His fingers were cold.
Matty rubbed them with his thumbs, trying to both warm Antoni up and reassure him. He offered him a smile, relieved when Antoni’s shoulders softened and the tightness around his eyes faded. Antoni relaxing made Matty relax too.
The officiant began. “We have assembled together at this time for the wedding ceremony of Antonio Giovanni Bianchi and Matthew James Carlson.”
Matty felt a funny pang in his chest that he hadn’t even known Antoni’s middle name until they’d filled out the license paperwork the other day.
Dave asked Eliza and Alexis to declare that they were willing to be legal witness to their marriage and they both said, “I am.”
As Dave talked about marriage being a legal institution not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but following consideration and reflection of both parties, Matty thought that they’d done that.
He wasn’t doing this lightly. He was doing it knowing exactly what he was getting into and he was doing it because he wanted to protect people he cared about. How could that ever be a bad thing?
Reese fussed a little in the background and Dave paused for a moment but when Reese subsided, he continued.
Matty caught Antoni’s tiny wince when Dave spoke about love and Matty felt a little pang too.
He’d thought about getting married again. He’d pictured it. And he wasn’t sure how he felt now that he was in the middle of it.
He’d hoped it would be for love and maybe it was a little disappointing that it wasn’t.
Then again, Matty had been in love once and where had it gotten him? This time, he was going into the marriage with open eyes. He cared about Antoni, cared about the kids. He liked who they were as people. He liked living with them, caring for them, and he liked the way they treated him.
That was more than he could say about Courtney, that was for damn sure.