Page 74 of The Waiting Game

“I didn’t!” Felix said. “I could have. It was really late but it’s not like Casey usually gives us a curfew. He trusts us to make good choices. But that’s just it … I almost let him down. It was the night before the game against Arizona. We needed that win and I almost let him down along with the team and you and Grandma Ji-min and everyone else counting on me to do the right thing.”

“But you made the right choice,” Jonah protested. “I mean, you should be proud of yourself.”

“Yeah, but I came close to making the wrong one,” Felix admitted. “I got dressed and I had my room key and wallet in my pocket. But she suggested we meet at a bar for a drink first. And that snapped me out of it.”

“Why are you beating yourself up about this?” Jonah asked. “You turned down alcohol and sex with someone who I assume is stunningly gorgeous.”

Certainly, all of the women Felix had dated or hooked up with in the past had been.

“Yeah, she was a rocket,” Felix agreed. “And I’m not trying to beat myself up about being tempted by either the woman or the drink. Of course I was. It’s just … that’s not who I want to be anymore. I don’t want to numb out with booze or sex.”

“Dude, I get that,” Jonah assured him. “And I’m proud of you for doing the right thing that night.”

Felix flashed him a faint smile. “Thanks. And Ismael was too when I canceled the hookup and texted him to talk through shit.”

That was a good sign too, that Felix was reaching out for help when he needed to.

“I guess I don’t understand what this has to do with what you’re suggesting,” Jonah said slowly.

“If we’re together, even if it’s just on paper, that’s one more layer of accountability,” Felix said, his tone very earnest.

Goddamn it, he was using the big eyes, like he did on Grandma Ji-min. That so wasn’t fair. Jonah was a huge sucker for it too.

“Because I wouldn’t want you or anyone else to think that I’d step out on you if we were together,” Felix continued. “It’s another reminder of my commitments, you know?”

“I get what you’re saying,” Jonah said slowly, still trying to work through the idea.

Felix grimaced. “I know it’s asking a lot. You’d probably have to take a break from dating for a while.”

Jonah wanted to laugh. Felix might think that was a con but it was actually a tick in the pro column, honestly. Like Jonah had time to date during the playoffs anyway. He’d be lucky if he had time to get his dick sucked.

It was tempting to get his grandmother to lay off the matchmaking though. Much as he loved her, much as he appreciated why she was doing it, he didn’t need the added pressure while he had so much else to worry about.

Jonah shook his head. “I don’t know, Felix. I need time to think. This feels crazy.”

He gave Jonah a sheepish look. “I guess it is, a little.”

“A little? More than that,” Jonah protested. It reminded him an awful lot of their harebrained rescue-Emmy caper. And look how that had turned out. Only this time he wouldn’t be scrubbing composted manure out of a utility van—he’d be scraping together the pieces of his broken heart. “I—I just don’t know. I want to say yes because you know I’d do anything to help you and Grandma but … I need to think about it before I agree to anything.”

“That’s fair.” Felix took his hands, squeezing lightly. “Take your time. You know I’m not going anywhere.”

Jonah nodded. “I think I’m going to head inside now.”

“You want me to join you?”

“Umm,” Jonah said. “Sure, come in whenever you’re ready. Just, uh, maybe we should sleep in separate rooms tonight.”

Felix looked surprised. “Sure. If that’s what you want?”

“I think so,” Jonah said with a tired sigh. “I need to clear my head. And I need to be alone to do that.”

“Right, I get that.”

Jonah squeezed Felix’s hand, then stepped back. “I will think about what you suggested though. We can talk more once you have that chat with Ismael.”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

Jonah turned to go but Felix spoke. “Jonah?”

---