Page 160 of The Waiting Game

“Good.”

Dustin turned to face the room. “Okay, boys,” he said, raising his voice. “You know what that means. We’re going to need to win this one for her, okay?”

A shout rose up from the team as they hollered their agreement, promising they would.

Jonah choked down a power bar and tried to convince himself he was making the right choice. He got silent hugs and murmured, “we’ve got” this from the guys but when Felix approached, Jonah tensed.

“I’m so fucking glad she’s okay,” Felix said.

Jonah couldn’t even look him in the eye, torn between guilt over what he’d said earlier and the raw feelings bubbling up in him at the moment. He managed a tight nod. “Thanks.”

Felix frowned, but when Jonah turned to go, Felix caught him by the arm. “Are you sure you’re okay to go out?”

“I’ve got it. I’ll be fine,” Jonah said robotically.

Felix held on to him for a moment before he stepped back, nodding. “Okay. Let’s win this for Grandma Ji-min then.”

Felix’s legs felt like lead as he skated out for the first period of overtime. Jonah was usually the one getting the extra ice time, not him, but Jonah had been distracted and sloppy all game so Coach Casey had shifted Felix to the power play unit in the previous period.

Felix had never seen Jonah like this. It was understandable but also worrisome.

It felt far too reminiscent of all of the fucked-up mistakes Felix had made last fall.

Jonah wasn’t typically the one who lost his temper and blew up, shouting things he’d regret. That was what Felix had done when Jonah had tried to tell him how worried he was about his drinking.

But Jonah had been twitchy all game, snapping at their opponents and arguing with the refs. Stress had worn his patience thin and his temper short.

Felix wished he could get just ten minutes alone with Jonah, to pull him close and tell him he was there for him. Jonah had made it clear he didn’t want that right now and Felix was afraid of pushing him too hard.

But it hurt to be held at arm’s length this way.

And then Felix wondered if maybe it was poetic justice for what he’d done to Jonah last fall. Felix had shut Jonah out when all Jonah had wanted was for Felix to let him in.

Jonah would never pay him back that way on purpose but when he was stressed and terrified of losing his grandmother …

But as Felix got into position for the next puck drop, he forced all of it from his mind. This wasn’t the time for him to give into the dread about what had happened with Grandma Ji-min. It wasn’t the time for him to think about the way Jonah was trying to shut him out of their lives.

There was only hockey. There could be only hockey. There would be time later to repair the damage done but Felix’s only job was to win this game.

For Jonah. For Grandma Ji-min. For everyone who was counting on him.

The first few shifts of the game passed in a blur. The air was filled with desperation and the kind of electric tension that made Felix’s focus narrow to the white ice beneath his feet and the black rubber he was so desperate to get into the back of Buffalo’s net.

Felix shoved Jeremiah Keller against the boards as he fought for puck possession. The air was loud with the clack of sticks as he battled to get it away from Keller.

When Felix finally got the puck, he fired it off to Jonah, expecting him to be there waiting for him.

But the pass went wide and Buffalo scooped it up. Felix raced up the ice after the puck, legs burning, hoping to get it away from them, but he wasn’t watching where he was going and he collided with Dallas Sutton.

The forty pounds Sutton had on Felix sent him flying across the ice. He tried to prepare himself for the impact as he crashed into the boards but he was still winded as he lay there, every part of his body protesting.

Buffalo’s crowd roared with approval.

A ref’s whistle stopped play as Felix shook his head and tried to pull himself together enough to get to his feet.

“Hey, you okay, Haler?” Matty asked, reaching for his arm to help him up.

“Yeah. I’ll survive,” Felix said with a groan he got to his feet. Fuck, his shoulder was never going to be the same after that.

---