Page 156 of The Waiting Game

But now Jonah’s stomach was sour with nerves as the small aircraft shuddered with turbulence over Lake Ontario. It was a nasty, stormy morning, it had been raining for two days, and thunderstorms were sweeping across the area between Toronto and Buffalo.

It felt like a terrible omen.

Despite Felix’s tight grip on Jonah’s hand and his attempts to soothe his anxieties using distraction, Jonah was still uneasy as they landed.

Even being on solid ground didn’t help, the anxious feeling lingering in the pit of his stomach as they rode to the practice facility.

Jonah was jittery through video review and stretching and even their usual pregame routine didn’t help.

He normally loved the Buffalo Botanical Gardens. They’d been designed by famed landscape architect Frederick Law Olmsted and the centerpiece of the place was the stunning glass conservatory designed by architects Lord & Burnham. But today Jonah could barely focus as he and Felix strolled the conservatory, the rain loud against the glass ceiling several stories up.

Eventually, Felix pinned him against the railing overlooking the koi pond in the aquatic garden section. “Hey, I can feel your nerves from here. Is this about Grandma Ji-min?”

Jonah nodded and scrubbed a hand across his face. “I just hate not being there with her. And this fucking delay didn’t help.”

She’d originally been scheduled for a morning procedure but that had been pushed back because her cardiologist had an emergency surgery.

Pushing back the time of the procedure had only worsened Jonah’s nerves, which didn’t bode well for his ability to play with a clear head.

A few days ago, with Grandma Ji-min’s blessing, they’d taken care of all of the paperwork with the hospital to be sure Kate was listed as a contact person for Grandma Ji-min and Jonah had let them know that she was the one to contact first with any updates.

Jonah and Grandma Ji-min had both agreed that with no other family around, and Jonah and Felix both unavailable during the game, Kate was the logical choice since she was with the team already and no one in the organization was more level-headed and capable.

Grandma Ji-min had sounded relieved when they suggested it. “Yes. I’d rather have them call that nice Kate woman anyway. You need to keep your head in the game, Jo-nah.”

When it became clear that Grandma Ji-min’s surgery would be postponed until the afternoon, Jonah had sat down and talked to Dustin, Coach Casey, and Kate about the situation. They’d all agreed that it was best if Jonah shut off his phone completely during the game.

But the closer it got to her rescheduled surgery time, the more anxious Jonah became.

He looked at Felix, his stomach churning. “I keep having this feeling that something is going to go horribly wrong and that this morning is going to be the last time I see her alive and—”

“Hey, no.” Felix cupped his cheek. “Nothing’s going to go wrong, Jo. She’s at an excellent hospital. You know I checked out her cardiologist thoroughly and he has fantastic ratings. I totally get that you’re stressed about this and about the game. The stupid weather making the flight shitty only made it worse for you. But Grandma Ji-min is going to be fine.”

“You promise?” Jonah’s chest was still tight with worry.

“I promise.” Felix hooked his pinkie on Jonah’s.

Jonah released a shuddering breath and Felix kissed him slowly, gently. It didn’t seem like he was trying to distract him, just to remind him that Felix was here. That he wasn’t in this alone. Just to remind Jonah of their connection.

And Jonah loved him for it.

They stood wrapped together for a few long minutes, breathing in sync.

Jonah sighed and melted against Felix, wrapping his arms around Felix’s waist and tucking his head into the crook of his neck. Even if this all ended at some point, he would always be grateful for the time he had with Felix like this.

Jonah just hoped that some miracle would happen and when he confessed his feelings to Felix, he would say he returned them.

Desperation twisted in Jonah’s chest, three warring desires inside him that he didn’t know how to settle.

The hope that his team had what it took to battle through the adversity of this series and make it through to the Cup Final.

The desire to keep Felix in his life this way. That their deep friendship had truly turned into the kind of love that Grandma Ji-min and Grandpa Cho had shared.

And the need for his grandmother to make it through this procedure safely today.

Despite Felix’s best efforts, Jonah slept poorly during his pregame nap. He tossed and turned in the hotel bed and when he got up, he felt more tired than when he’d lain down.

It had been late afternoon by the time his grandmother finally went in for the procedure. Although the part where they actually shocked her heart back into a stable rhythm only took about five minutes, everything else including the sedation was supposed to take two to three hours max.

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