Page 131 of The Waiting Game

But compared to the bigger names, the more talented players, the guys with fewer PR scandals … well, he was low on the list. Always had been. Probably always would be. He was going to have to learn to be okay with that.

Jonah nodded. “True. But I don’t mean just that. I think he really looks up to you for a lot of reasons.”

“What do you think he meant by wanting to be just like me?” Felix asked with a frown. “I’m hardly a role model.”

“Well, first of all, I think you define yourself by your failures but that doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

Felix felt a little jolt go through him at those words. Did he do that? He was going to need to think about that one for a while.

Jonah continued. “And for Jackson … it might be a little more complicated than that. He might want to grow up to look like you. You have to admit, there were some physical similarities.”

Felix considered it. Yeah, he could see that.

“I think kids always have people they want to look like physically and I imagine that’s maybe even bigger for trans kids as they try to figure out their identities. I certainly felt that with the lack of Asian guys in the league. I got pretty invested in the few who were active NHL players.”

“Sure, that makes sense. I hadn’t thought of it that way but I bet you’re right.” Felix shook his head ruefully. “God, I really was afraid I was going to fuck it up and say the wrong thing to him.”

“Well, I think we all worry about that with fans,” Jonah said with a soft laugh. “And even more so when it’s someone who … well, someone people probably aren’t very kind to. But your sincerity and kindness came through with him and that’s what matters.”

“You really do see the best in me, don’t you?” Felix asked, a little awed. There was something special about Jonah’s devotion to him. His belief in him.

Jonah reached out and cupped his cheek. “Of course I do. I love you.”

And Felix could only stare because he wasn’t sure if that was the kind of I love you they’d always shared or something different.

This was where it started to get really murky.

Was this friendship turning into more? Was this Jonah admitting his feelings were changing? Was Felix supposed to ask? What the fuck did he do now?

“I—I love you too,” Felix stuttered out but the moment was gone, Jonah was already turning away.

“We should probably get going. We need to have our pregame meal and get back to the hotel for our nap.”

“I am looking forward to our nap,” Felix said with a grin and a wink as he caught up.

Jonah rolled his eyes, shaking his head as he took the path that would lead them back to the entrance. “I’ll find us a rideshare.”

But ten minutes later, as they stepped through the doors of the main entrance, Felix remembered that the place had a gift shop.

“I actually need to run in for a sec,” Felix said as casually as he could manage. “Meet you back out here in a few?”

“Sure. The car’s about ten minutes out so you have a little time.”

“Sounds good.” Impulsively, Felix kissed his cheek, enjoying the almost shy smile Jonah shot him before he turned away.

Felix jogged to the gift shop, wondering if they had what he was looking for.

Actually, he had no idea what he was looking for really. He knew he wanted a gift for Jonah and shopping at a botanical garden gift shop made a lot of sense.

But what to get him?

Felix quickly scanned the items on display, underwhelmed. There were plenty of nice things if he was shopping for family or friends. Mugs and coasters and sweatshirts and journals and calendars. But those weren’t special. They weren’t romantic.

Neither were the ties and socks. Those were the kind of things that, well, the handsome Australian professor sent Jonah.

At least Felix assumed Dr. Henry Brown was handsome. He’d never seen his face.

Felix frowned at the plant pots and misters and compost bins as he passed them. Definitely not romantic.

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