Page 175 of The Waiting Game

“This is mostly symbolic,” Felix said. “But I wanted you to see that I can do it.”

When the bottle was empty, Felix set it on the counter with a soft thunk. “I can’t promise that I’ll never struggle again,” he said. “But I want to promise you that I’ll keep trying.”

Jonah nodded. “I know you will.”

“I had a long talk with Ismael,” he said. “About what brought me to that moment last night.”

“Was it because of me?” Jonah asked, stepping forward.

Felix shook his head. “No. It was because of me. Because I’m still wrestling with my own demons.”

Jonah nodded. “Because last night scared me,” he admitted. “I sat on the floor here and worried I’d lost you for good.”

“I worried I’d lost me,” Felix said quietly. He glanced at the spot Jonah had pointed at and shook his head. “Do you remember when we used to play hide-and-seek in the house on rainy days when we couldn’t skate or play ball hockey?”

Jonah smiled. “Yeah. You found me crouching here once and you said I was cheating.”

Felix nodded. “And you told me it wasn’t your fault I was too dumb to look somewhere so obvious.”

They both laughed.

“I think I’ve been really dumb for a long time, Jo,” Felix said. “I’ve looked in all of the wrong places for what I really want.”

“Yeah?” Jonah whispered.

“Yeah.” Felix reached out and touched his face. “I should have been looking in the most obvious place all along.”

“Before we go any further,” Jonah wet his lips, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I have something I need to tell you.”

Felix frowned, tilting his head to study Jonah’s face. “What’s that?”

“Actually, it’s more of a confession.” An uneasy expression crossed Jonah’s face. “Can we, um, can we go outside to talk though?”

Jonah seemed restless, so Felix shrugged. “Sure. We can talk wherever you want.”

They were silent as they slipped on their shoes and walked out through the patio doors. It was a beautiful summer morning. A little humid from the rain overnight but it was clear and sunny and the air smelled so fresh.

Felix gestured for Jonah to lead the way and Jonah stepped onto the flagstone path that meandered through the meticulously sculpted gardens Grandma Ji-min had designed. There was just enough space for them to walk side by side.

“So?” Felix lifted his eyebrows. “What kind of confession?”

Jonah took a slow, deep breath, then let it out. “I’ve—I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember.”

Felix blinked. “What?”

“I’ve … had a crush on you since we were kids and it’s just grown with time.”

“You’re serious,” Felix whispered, his mind reeling. “But why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you were straight!” Jonah protested.

“Well, apparently I’m not.”

“Okay, but I didn’t know that! And … maybe you didn’t either?”

“True. I didn’t. I just …” Felix carefully stepped over one of the small green frogs that liked to come out of the pond and sun themselves on the paving stones. “Maybe now I’m wondering if I would have figured it out sooner if you’d said something.”

Jonah shot him a skeptical glance. “Would you? The shit with your parents … hockey … I don’t know, man.”

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