Page 149 of The Waiting Game

Jonah made a little sputtering noise and Felix scoffed. “That’s a lie. You love the idea of Jonah marrying me.”

“I do.” Her expression softened. “I just hope I’m there for it.”

Felix swallowed hard. “I want you there for it too.”

And that wasn’t a lie. Not even a little bit. Felix had never pictured himself marrying a man. It had always been a bride he’d imagined saying “I do” to.

But marrying Jonah? Having Grandma Ji-min there to support him?

Yes, that felt right.

While Jonah had never particularly enjoyed interviews, this was a relatively easy one.

They met with a reporter named Stephanie Carter. She was from a national magazine and they’d both dealt with her before. She was polite and non-intrusive, so Jonah couldn’t really complain. Although the photoshoot for the article had been a bit tedious.

Kate had given them a list of questions to preapprove or strike off the list and it mostly focused on Felix and Jonah’s history.

They told a few stories about growing up together and playing for the University of Toronto, then talked a little about the shift in their relationship, and discussed where they saw their future heading.

“What if one of you was traded?” Stephanie asked. “Do you know how you’d handle it?”

Jonah considered it. “Well, it’s not something we’ve specifically discussed but I have a full no-move clause. Felix has a partial no-move clause. It’s not something that’s hugely likely.”

“But it could still happen,” Stephanie pressed.

“It could,” Jonah agreed. “So much would depend on the specifics and where we were in our careers though. It’s something we’d have to discuss.”

“I’d probably retire,” Felix said thoughtfully. “Rather than be traded.”

Jonah turned to look at him. “What?” he sputtered.

“Obviously, yes, we’d discuss it,” Felix said, looking him in the eye. “But think about it, Jo. It makes the most sense. You have the no-move, your career is on a better trajectory, you’re less of a liability to the franchise than I am …”

“I wouldn’t expect you to give up your career for me,” Jonah argued.

Felix’s smile was soft as he took Jonah’s hand. “I know you wouldn’t. But let’s be realistic. It was hard enough when I played in Vancouver and you were here in Toronto and we weren’t dating at the time. Can you imagine what it would be like now?”

And Jonah swallowed because, yeah it would be harder. Going from playing with Felix in college to having him on a different NHL team halfway across the country had been horrible. Only seeing each other in person during the off-season and when their teams played each other had made Jonah feel so lonely.

But it was still easier to maintain a friendship long-distance than to be in a romantic relationship. Could Jonah go to bed every night alone, waiting for the little scraps of time Felix would have for him and vice versa?

And then Jonah shook his head at himself as he realized that this wasn’t real. They weren’t really engaged. He and Felix were … playacting at a relationship that didn’t exist. Yes, they were having sex now. Yes, sometimes it felt like Felix was … invested in this relationship in a way that seemed real.

But Felix didn’t know Jonah loved him and Jonah didn’t have a clue what was actually going on in Felix’s head.

Which probably meant they needed to get their shit together and talk about it but …

But not right now. Not when they were in the midst of the playoffs. Not when there was so much at stake with Grandma Ji-min.

Jonah shook his head and smiled tightly at the interviewer. “Sorry, Stephanie. I … Felix has a point. I wouldn’t want him to give up his career for me but we would have to consider that option if it came to that, I suppose.”

Why did Felix assume it had to be him who would give up his career?

Although Felix’s feelings about his career had always been more complicated than Jonah’s.

He’d never felt like he was good enough.

How much of that was due to his parents, Jonah wasn’t sure. Hopefully, it was something Jonah could nudge him to keep working on though. So what if he hadn’t quite lived up to the initial hype around him?

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