Page 125 of The Waiting Game

“Because they should be happy for me,” Felix said earnestly. “Happy to know I’m with someone who loves me.”

And Jonah’s heart ached because he did love Felix. So much.

“Yeah, they should be happy for you,” Jonah agreed. Because he couldn’t put any of the rest of his feelings into words. Not ones he could share with Felix, anyway.

“But their reaction doesn’t hurt the way it would have in the past,” Felix said thoughtfully. “It’s painfully obvious my parents are never going to be the kind of people I want them to be. But … it doesn’t have anything to do with me. I realize that now. That’s their failings. They’re just kind of … detached and emotionless people and at times I’ve been like that too. But I can’t change them. I can only change myself.”

“I think you already have,” Jonah said. Because the Felix of a few years ago would never have had this conversation. He would never have been able to admit that his parents had failed him and that he deserved better. That there was anything wrong with the way they’d treated him and that he needed to change or he’d end up just like them.

Felix squeezed his hand. “I hope so. I’m certainly trying.”

“That’s good.”

Felix glanced over. “It was interesting when I talked to Ismael earlier too.”

“Yeah?”

“He told me I was allowed to enjoy things again. And to stop punishing myself for my mistakes.”

“Felix.” Jonah slipped his hand out from under Felix’s and sat up. “Of course you are. Of course you should.”

Felix shrugged, finally glancing over with a little smile. “I guess I needed to hear someone say that aloud.”

“I’m glad you finally did then.”

“C’mere,” Felix coaxed, reaching for Jonah. “I want to kiss you.”

And Jonah was helpless to do anything else but go to Felix and sink into his embrace.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Felix whistled as he left his hotel room the following morning. Although it had been tempting to spend all day yesterday in bed with Jonah, they’d agreed they needed to conserve energy for the game today.

So yesterday afternoon, they’d peeled themselves out of bed and showered and dressed for a nice dinner out with the team. After, they’d come back to the hotel and Felix had played video games with Colton, Dustin, Nico, and some of the rookies while Jonah played cards with Matty, Dom, and Jordan.

They’d gotten off once more before bed, making out while they gave each other sloppy mutual handjobs that made Felix a little lightheaded whenever he remembered it.

This morning, there had been lazy kisses in the shower and soapy touching, though they’d agreed to wait to get off until their pregame nap.

God, why had they waited until the playoffs to get hot and heavy?

Though Felix wasn’t about to go down a rabbit hole of wondering if they could have been doing this for the past decade and a half. For one thing, he couldn’t change the past. And for another, he thought maybe he’d needed to go through all the heartache with Whitney and the trip to rehab to have any shot at being the kind of man Jonah deserved.

Not that being an alcoholic was a good thing but clearly Felix had needed to grow up. The way he’d gone about learning all these important lessons wasn’t the best way, but he’d always jumped into the deep end and figured out how to swim later. He supposed this was no different.

If he had to go through all of that to be the kind of man Jonah deserved, well, then it was worth it.

And Felix wanted to be the man for Jonah more than ever.

Any tiny doubts he might have had about how much he wanted a man—wanted Jonah—had been swept away. Everything they’d done so far had been blazing hot and everything he imagined them doing made his skin heat with desire.

He wanted everything Jonah wanted to give him.

Wanted to kiss Jonah everywhere and suck his cock and fuck him and get fucked by him and …

Felix walked through the doors of the room where the team gathered for breakfast then stopped in his tracks and stared at the spots next to Matty and Nico at the table where he and Jonah usually sat.

There was a giant case of sports drinks on each chair, with giant bows on top and shiny Mylar balloons in the shape of an eggplant floating above.

---