Page 68 of Stars May Burn

She smiled, the action genuine and breaking through her professional mask. “That is very kind. I’ll let you know.”

After she left, I found my gaze drifting to the bottles of tonic. What was in them? I’d always assumed it was some concoction of common fertility enhancers like raspberry leaf, chasteberry, nettles, and clover. I had assumed Father had wrangled higher quality ingredients than average through one of his clients, which was why he insisted I drink them.

Unease shifted in my stomach. It felt wrong to distrust and doubt Father and Miss Claris after all they had sacrificed for our family, but suddenly my curiosity was too much. There had to be some way to identify the ingredients, but with no labels of any sort or marks on the bottle to trace its origin, I could only analyze the contents, and a brown liquid wasn’t much to go on.

Guilt made me turn over and squeeze my eyes shut. What else could it possibly be? Poison? I was being ridiculous. Father didn’t deserve my suspicions. Everything he did was for his family.

I curled myself up into a ball and waited for dawn to come.

KASTEN

The clock ticked loudly in the corner of my office, highlighting the silence. Lunch lay half eaten between me and Callum, both of us weary from the previous night. We’d only had a couple of hours sleep between us. The documents we were both meant to be reading were scattered haphazardly.

I ran a hand down my face, my voice coming out gruff. “I shouldn’t have shouted at her like that. I didn’t mean to upset her. And I did it twice. The second time I terrified her so badly that she fainted. Terrified of me, not the men trying to capture her—I was worse than them.”

Callum sighed, swirling his whiskey. “Most married couples have fights. I believe it’s customary in these circumstances to give a present as an apology. Chocolates or flowers or wine. Though you may have already overdone it with flowers.” He sniffed. “Or”—he drew out the word as he turned to face me—“you could give her what she really wants. Tell her what’s going on and let her help.”

I leveled him with a flat stare. “You’re joking. I will not have her life put in danger, Callum.”

He stared back into his whiskey and mumbled. “Fine, fine, shut her out and keep on acting as if everything is hopeless. It’s clearly keeping her perfectly safe.”

I gritted my teeth and dragged in a deep breath before I said something I would regret. Then something struck me. I sat forward in my chair and stared at my friend. “You’ve never wanted to let her in on anything before. Now you want her to help?”

He shrugged, not meeting my eyes. “I’ve gotten used to her being around.” He took a deep breath, indecision clear on his face. “And I actually think she might be quite useful if?—”

I thumped the table. Of course. He wanted to use her. “No. I will not involve her in treason. I will not be the cause of her death.”

Callum looked out the window and released a long breath through his teeth as if he were long-suffering and I was being unreasonable.

The clock ticked loudly on the wall.

He cleared his throat. “What are you going to tell her then, tonight at dinner?”

“I will apologize and try to be pleasant.”

Callum leaned forward and hesitated with his mouth open.

“No. Whatever it is that’s making you think twice, I don’t want to hear it.”

“I just…Kasten, don’t you think this should be Sophie’s choice? Shouldn’t she be the one who decides what she risks her life for and what she wants to be involved in?”

I shook my head and spread my hands, anger building. “But it won’t be the rational choice. She’s probably been told by her family that she must do anything to please me. Of course, she would say yes to risking her life. But that doesn’t mean she really means it.”

Callum swirled his whiskey and gentled his voice. “You didn’t die, Kasten. She’s not a widow, she’s your wife. And she’s inquisitive. This can’t go on. You’ll drive her mad. At least explain the woman from last night. You don’t have to tell her everything.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. In my head this had all been simple when I’d married her. I had thought Sophie would be happiest if I kept out of her life. But Callum was also right, and I did want to respect her choices. Our arguments were only going to get worse if we continued like this.

Ah, this was a mess.

And worse, whichever option I took, Sophie would still be in danger. Maybe I should have never married her.

A tentative knock startled me from my musings. “Come in.”

The door opened slowly, and I was surprised to see Sophie stick her head around the frame. She wore a pale blue dress with a broad ribbon of the same color tying back her pale hair. She showed no signs of illness. Her cheeks had a healthy flush, and her eyes were as round and bright as usual.

I stood up so abruptly, I knocked over my chair. “Sophie.” She’d never come to my office before. Did she want an apology? Or to cancel dinner?

She cleared her throat with a shy, practiced smile that didn’t reach her eyes and held up a small bag. “Your stitches need to come out today, Kasten. I thought I could do it myself rather than bother the physician again after last night.”

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