Page 66 of Stars May Burn

Meena adjusted her grip and pinned me with her gaze. “Lady Sophie? How are you feeling?”

I sighed and closed my eyes. Confused. Angry. Scared. Worried. Lost.

I didn’t reply but let her carry me through the door of my room and lay me on the bed.

I really shouldn’t have shouted at Kasten like that. Especially when our relationship was so fragile. But he shouldn’t have shouted at me either. How could he blame me for something that was his fault? I would have expected something like this from Frederick, but I’d started to believe Kasten was different.

Miss Claris would have chastised me for such a thought.

And just what had Kasten been doing to that poor, sick woman? Helping her? Torturing her? I’d never seen anyone in a similar state before, and he’d been rough.

As the world stopped spinning, I slowly sat up in the bed and faced Meena. She handed me a cup of water, which I took gratefully. “What was going on in there?” My voice sounded small. Weak. I sipped the water.

Her expression was gentle, even sympathetic. “You shouldn’t have seen that.” She took the cup back and handed me a towel, helping me wrap it around my soaking hair.

I rotated my jaw in frustration. “Answer me, Meena. Please. I’m sick of being excluded from everything, especially in situations where I am in danger.” I had to know what sort of a man Kasten truly was before my admiration for him grew any more…and what world I’d been thrust into when I married him.

Meena’s eyes lowered. “He doesn’t explain because knowledge of this could get you killed. If the king’s men found out what was going on here… He wants you to be innocent so you would be spared. Not to mention it would put you directly against Lord Lyrason.”

I leaned closer to Meena, clenching my fists so they didn’t start shaking again. “What was wrong with that woman? Tell me now or I’ll…I’ll march straight back to the east wing.”

We both knew the threat was an empty one. I couldn’t even stand, and Kasten had made it very clear that she was dangerous.

Meena sighed. “Please calm down, my lady. That woman is very, very sick. Kasten was trying to save her and those who might be harmed by her. I can’t tell you more. I am sorry. Just know that your husband is a good man. He shouts at you because you scared him. You being there severely compromised your safety. Please don’t hold it against him.”

I sighed. Kasten would never be scared of anything.

I flopped back down on the pillows, what remained of my strength leaving me, and the room starting to spin again. Kasten was helping a sick woman, something that could get him killed if the king found out. Was she some sort of criminal? Or had she caught the disease from something illegal? I couldn’t work this out on my own, and I was so exhausted from trying to.

Meena helped me peel off Kasten’s canvas cloak, my soaking shawl, simple dress, and shift. I could barely sit up. She pulled on my nightgown and wrapped me in blankets, removing the ones I had made damp. “Try not to dwell on it, my lady. The physician will be here soon, then you can sleep. It’s almost dawn. You should take the day leisurely.”

I gave her a vague nod in response, and she dimmed the kryalcomy lights. “I’ll be just outside the door if you need me.”

I lay down in the half-darkness, my heartbeat refusing to slow. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the screaming woman. Kasten yelling, his face contorted in rage and fear. Shadowed men trying to catch me, excitement in their eyes. The speed and skill with which Kasten took them down. Surely that had to be related to Callum’s illegal kryalcomy? I replayed the scene in my mind. He had been…amazing. Completely confident in his abilities. And even though I’d seen how ruthlessly violent and efficient he could be, I wasn’t scared of him. I should have been. Instead, from the moment he appeared in the alley, I’d felt safe. When he had been shouting furiously in my face, I should have been terrified. Instead, I had shouted back.

I’d never shouted at anyone before.

I twisted the bedcovers between my fingers, remembering my overwhelming feeling of relief when he’d appeared in that dark street. I played the moment over and over. The emotions that had crashed over me when he appeared.

I stared up at the ceiling thinking over that strange revelation. Married to Kasten, I felt safe, which made no sense when my life had been threatened in his castle yet again. Kasomere was definitely not safe. I should have known as soon as I’d found out I would be guarded night and day. So why wasn’t I scared?

And if it wasn’t fear, why had I run from him?

I sighed and pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes.

Why did Kasten make me feel like I didn’t know myself at all?

There was a knock on the door, and a physician entered with soft footsteps, her head and upper body wrapped in a large shawl. She wasn’t the physician who had attended Kasten, and I didn’t recognize her. She looked me up and down with a gentle smile.

“I’m Physician Harris. Do you mind if I turn up the lights?”

I shook my head and slowly eased myself into a sitting position. “I’m sorry you were called out so early in the morning. I’m afraid it was probably not needed. I merely fainted and just need rest.”

She nodded, but didn’t reply, setting her leather bag on the table and unclipping it. “Do you faint often?”

I frowned at the question, thinking back. It was my impression that it was not uncommon for women to faint. I probably did so more than others, but Miss Claris had always said I had a fragile constitution.

“I often feel lightheaded when I’m emotionally stimulated. I normally sit down before I can faint, but not always. It’s not that common, maybe a few times a year? I assumed it was partially due to wearing corsets.”

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