“No.” I stabbed his dagger point down into the table, my humor vanishing as quickly as it had arrived. “I couldn’t do that to somebody. The poor woman would be terrified of me, thanks to all the rumors. Not to mention widowed soon after. I couldn’t drag someone into this mess, let alone a child. And anyway, no pleasant, respectable women ever speak to me. They fear I will taint their precious reputations.”
Callum shrugged again and leaned his chair back on two legs against the wall. “Fine then. Let the king gain control of Kasomere. Think of how he’ll govern the city and surrounding lands. He’ll carve it up and give it away. Wages will be cut, past lives will come back to haunt people. And however careful we are, think of all the things he might discover that you want to keep hidden.” He shook his head and raised his wine glass. “But of course, you don’t care about any of that. You just…”
I growled and rocked his chair forward with my ankle to cut him off. He made a face as he almost spilt his wine.
“Fine, fine, I get your point.” I pinched my forehead.
He blinked as if he hadn’t expected to be so persuasive. “So…you’ll choose one? You’ll have to be fast before they start planning another campaign.”
I took my cup and swirled the dregs of my wine, wanting to deny the name that immediately came to mind. After counting three heartbeats and putting my cup down, I muttered, “Lady Sophie Cuthbert. Though I’ve heard she’s gone back to using Halfield.”
Callum’s mouth dropped open. “You’re joking, right? She’s not exactly suitable…”
I gave him a dark look from the corner of my eye and hid the jolt of anger and annoyance. Callum choked on a strangled laugh.
He never knew when to shut up. It was a miracle I hadn’t killed him within the last four years. Maybe today would be the day.
Finally, Callum realized I was serious. He stared at me as if I were mad. Maybe I was. He held up his hand, ticking off his fingers one by one. “For starters, her husband died, what, six days ago? That’s hardly a decent waiting time. Second, most people think she killed him…”
I chuckled darkly. “I wouldn’t blame her for that.”
Callum ignored the interruption. “And the rest think her father murdered him so he could grab his lands. Third, her father is a snake who cheats and steals his way to wealth. Did you hear he took hold of all of her late husband’s property and is already auctioning some of it off? Fourth, she is below your station, with barely a drop of proper noble blood. Fifth, she was married for over a year to her late husband, and she didn’t give him an heir. Something that everyone knows Sir Frederick Cuthbert would have been very keen to produce.” He wiggled all five fingers at me. “Should I continue?”
I just raised my eyebrows at my friend and cocked my head. I had known all of that.
He blew out a long breath. “You’re actually serious?” He shook his head as if dazed. “You’ve never shown any interest in her before. She’s pretty, and has good etiquette, but have you ever even spoken to her? She might have one of those high-pitched whining voices. She seems too boring to have actually murdered anyone. You know, on the quiet side, jumpy, no backbone.”
He was starting to really annoy me. “Callum…” I growled.
“It’s not as if any other men are flocking to marry her…”
“Callum…” My hands clenched on the table.
“I… Yes?” He finally shut his confounded mouth.
“Do you want me to marry, or not?”
“Well, yes, but…”
“Then send the proposal to Sophie Halfield.” I reached over and drained the rest of Callum’s far tastier wine before I could overthink this. Served him right for doing so much talking when he could have been drinking. “Send it with flowers or whatever is appropriate.”
Callum opened and closed his mouth, blinked, then nodded. He was looking at me as if he didn’t recognize me. I left the room before he could regain his voice.
I winced and slowed as I climbed the stairs to my rooms, refusing to give in and call the physician for stronger tonics. My mind returned to Sophie Halfield. I had caused so much pain, so much darkness. When I died, nothing good would be said about my pitifully short life other than how I’d won lands for the king. And I suspected my name would soon be blotted out from the campaigns. But maybe, before I died, I could do one good thing. Maybe, for once in my miserable existence, I could improve somebody’s life permanently.
It took only two days for Sir Halfield’s reply to arrive. The man must have responded the moment he opened my request. I’d expected to wait at least a week and have more time to process what I was about to do.
I retreated to the drinking room, the one room of the castle where nobody except Callum ever disturbed me, and reread the letter that had been personally delivered by a servant. I sighed and pressed a finger against my lips, irritated at my inability to think clearly about this. I always prided myself on being logical and efficient. But when it came to women, I might as well be a fish in a pine tree.
I used the letter opener to pry splinters of wood from the already ruined table and reminded myself why I had chosen Sophie Halfield. I’d first noticed her at a party at Trembok Castle in the north of Fenland five months ago, one of those tedious events I’d been forced to attend so everyone could have the pleasure of listening to the king get all the credit for winning the most recent campaign against Kollenstar. I’d needed to escape the dreariness of countless people coming to me with the expected niceties on their lips and hatred in their eyes and found myself on the tower watching the shadow-soaked gardens.
The night had been warm, but the grounds of the castle were deserted, as the king required everyone’s enraptured attention inside. A woman, wearing a dress that made her seem as pale as a wraith, ran out onto the lawn, her long hair bleached by the moonlight. I’d expected her to be followed—maybe by a man for a secret moonlight walk or a stolen kiss—but she remained alone, despite being dressed as a respectable lady.
She took quick, excited breaths, her head darting back as if she feared pursuit. I leaned on the battlements, swirling my wine and frowning, glad for a vaguely interesting distraction. What was she running from? The king’s speech? I snorted into my goblet at my own joke. Wouldn’t blame her.
I watched as the woman decided she wasn’t being followed and shrugged off her silk shawl, hanging it over a bench. Her shoulders were slim, and her build was fragile. She only seemed about twenty. She hurried over to the… Flowers? She was running out of the castle to look at flowers? I clearly understood women less than I thought.
She knelt before a flower bed and leaned forward, holding a notepad and pencil she must have hidden somewhere in that tight fitting dress. She picked up twigs and leaves and was writing something down. Even from up here, I could see her shoulders relax and a smile lighten her face. She stood and moved down the flower bed, and I didn’t miss her sudden pure joy and excitement as she spotted something growing behind a bench. She scurried over and squeezed herself between soil and slats of wood, and for some reason my heart clenched. She acted as if she didn’t have a care in the world, and that brought me pain and hope in a strange, heady mix. I wasn’t sure I’d ever had an interest that could bring this measure of unadulterated joy and excitement. The only thing I was good at was killing things. A small smirk pulled on one side of my mouth. How little she probably knew of the world. She reminded me of a child.