Page 35 of Stars May Burn

Meena stood beside me. She seemed less confident than before.

“You should go back to bed, my lady. I’m sorry we woke you.”

I watched as Kasten’s back melted away into the shadows, my heart thudding a chaotic rhythm over what I’d just done. My throat constricted as some of the adrenaline wore off.

I shouldn’t have done that. I’d angered him further.

But I wouldn’t stand by and let my guard be dismissed over something so unfair. He had taken Miss Claris away; I didn’t want to lose Meena too.

I forced a smile as I looked up at my guard. “It wasn’t fair for you to be dismissed. You were amazing today.”

Meena shook her head. She still seemed concerned. “He’s not in the wrong, Sophie. He’s a good man. I messed up today and broke protocol. He’s only angry because he cares about you, and I put you in danger.”

I met her eyes with a determined expression. “Nobody could have predicted what happened earlier. I was the one who sent you to move the branches, and then I wandered out of sight. It was my fault. You were merely following orders.”

The guard looked ready to say more but closed her mouth instead.

I watched the shadows of the corridor for any remaining movement, but the castle was silent once more. I frowned as something she’d said registered. “How can you think he cares about me, Meena? He barely talks to me or looks at me.” I rubbed my arms and my voice dropped to a whisper. “Sometimes I even think I see disgust in his eyes.”

I looked down. I shouldn’t be saying these things out loud. Matters between a husband and wife were supposed to be private. But the pressure of this place was causing me to crumble, and I had nobody else to talk to except Meena, Beatrice, and Lucy.

Meena’s hand rested on my arm, and I looked up at her in surprise. “The disgust isn’t directed at you, my lady.”

I frowned, studying her face for the things she wasn’t saying. “It’s not?”

Her lips gained a small smile. “I think the fact that he barely talks or looks at you is one of the ways you can tell how he feels. You are the one person I know that he can’t look straight in the eyes with complete fearlessness, and I’ve seen him stare down the king himself.”

I shook my head slowly. “That makes no sense. I’m probably the least intimidating person in Fenland.”

Her lips formed a shaky grin. “Goodnight, my lady. And…thank you for your loyalty to me. I won’t forget it.”

The door opened behind me, and Lucy popped her head out, looking down the corridor to make sure Kasten was gone. Then she turned wide eyes to me. “You were magnificent, wasn’t she, Meena? She actually stood up to the general. I have never heard anyone speak to him like that.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. What would Miss Claris say when she found out? If he never spoke to me again, it would be my own fault. “I hope he’s not too angry with me.”

Meena managed a half laugh. “Oh, believe me, Sophie. You are the last person he is angry with right now.” Her humor dropped and she lowered her head. “I won’t fail you again. I promise.”

I forced a smile. “You have never failed me, Meena. I’m grateful that you’re my guard.”

As I closed the door, I frowned at flowers on my desk. If he wasn’t angry with me, why had he stalked off like that?

And why was he avoiding me?

Kasten

I swirled the whiskey. “She called me harsh and cruel, Callum.”

Callum grunted from the sofa where he was lying half asleep. The kryalcomy lamps were turned down low and the castle was silent since all the servants were in bed.

“I think she’s…I think she’s scared of me. She flinched as if I were some kind of monster. It makes me worry about…what happened to her before.” I pulled some loose splinters free from the scarred table.

Callum sighed but didn’t sit up. “You can’t have it both ways, Kasten. You can’t leave her in the dark, pretty much ignore her, and only show up when you’re angry at somebody for reasons she doesn’t understand, then expect her to think you’re a nice, sweet person.”

I grimaced. “I’m not nice or sweet. But I’m not harsh and cruel either.”

Callum sighed again, rubbing his eyes. “Either let her in fully, Kasten, or leave her out to make her own conclusions and stop worrying what they are.”

I pinched my forehead. He was right. It didn’t matter what she thought of me. I would probably be dead in a few weeks anyway. I’d only married her so I could legally change my will and so she could inherit Kasomere for the safety of my people and her own happiness. She would grieve less if she didn’t like me. It would probably make things easier for her.

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