Page 17 of Stars May Burn

Ipaced up and down my office, trying to regulate my breathing. How had I allowed myself to get into such a state? It had to be the stress of the incident in Adenburg, but I’d never felt so clueless or underprepared. And now she was in my house.

I glanced out of my office window. It was getting late, but I wouldn’t be able to sleep for hours. Sleep was difficult these days, and the dreams were never pleasant.

I made myself stop in front of Lucy, who was slipping me shy, concerned glances from where she waited for my instructions. I rarely summoned the maids; she must have thought she was in trouble.

I held myself still and tried to gentle my voice. “Did she get the flowers?”

The pale maid bobbed a curtsy. She now kept her eyes firmly on the ground. She and Beatrice both seemed frightened of me for some reason. “Yes, my lord.”

“Did she…like them?”

“She smelled them and smiled, my lord.”

“You will find out her favorite flower?”

“I already have, my lord. I asked her at dinner since we dined alone. Lisalthis.”

“Lisalthis?” What was that? I’d have to get one of the gardeners to source them.

“The lavender made her sneeze, so I made sure the plant was removed from the entire castle.”

I grunted in approval. “Have the gardeners pull any from the grounds as well.” A bit of tension left my chest, and I pushed a hand through my hair. “And, er, did she like the room?”

“I think so, my lord.”

My feet itched to pace again, but I forced myself to remain still. “Did you offer her tea?”

“Of course.”

“Has she asked for anything else?”

“Only for your whereabouts. She was surprised that you didn’t meet her for dinner.”

I scratched my chin with a wry smile. “I suspect relieved as well. She acts like a stiff puppet around me. You did say I wouldn’t…er…be coming to her rooms tonight?”

The maid’s cheeks colored slightly, and I wondered if sounded too uncouth. I never had to watch my words around soldiers. “Yes, my lord. She was a little confused, but I think she is very tired.”

I nodded. Tired. Of course. Why hadn’t I thought of that? And probably terrified. She would only know the rumors of this place—rumors about me. Half the court had made me out to be a bloodthirsty monster. “Make sure she rests well. I will be extremely angry if she is woken in the morning.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“And make sure she has whatever she wishes for breakfast at whatever time she wakes.”

She bobbed again.

I couldn’t help but resume pacing. “I assume everything is ready for her tour tomorrow? First impressions are important, and I want her to settle in quickly.”

Now I was almost certain the maid was hiding a smile. “We’ll check again in the morning.”

I stopped by the window and ran a hand down my face. What was I doing? I was a pawn and a murderer. I’d dragged her away to lands on the outskirts of what she considered polite civilization. Every woman’s worst nightmare of a husband. And soon I would leave her widowed a second time.

I was never going to be good at this, but at least, she would be safe now and free of her awful father.

“One last thing, Lucy. If she asks where I am tomorrow, say I’m away on business and wish her to make herself comfortable. That is all.”

She bobbed and left, closing the door with more care than necessary.

I poured myself a glass of whiskey and sat back behind my desk. The stacks of paper were endless. So much to do in so little time. I had a whole army to manage, and Robert still hadn’t been found. Not to mention the murders on the back streets of Adenburg. I could feel the seconds slipping between my fingers like grains of sand in an hourglass. So many lives still depended on me.

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